Until midnight
by siobhansawyer
Summary: Sorrun leaves Eomer behind as she follows her brother to Rivendell, just moments after Eomer asked her to marry him. She refuses him, saying he wouldn't know who he'd marry. Together with a companion she joins the Fellowship, and soon she discovers her secret can't be kept for long. Seeing a glimpse of her past from memories, we follow Sorrun through ME. Secret revealed in prologue
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Before I tell you the story of how I almost died - more than once - I will let you in on the secret that I had to keep in order to survive. My name, my true name, is Saoirse. I am the youngest child and only daughter of Denethor - but if you had asked him of my existence, he would have denied it. I am the little sister of Boromir and Faramir - but if you had asked them before the war, they would not have remembered. Denethor had left me in my mothers hands unnamed after my birth and she gifted me my name as a promise of a better future. But she could not promise such a thing, not with what awaited me - but I will not get ahead of things.

Denethor had no use for a daughter. Daughters could not fight, could not plot, they could only be married off to create unison between lands. The second I was born and my father learned I was a girl - weak, in his eyes, he plotted to have me married to the Haradrim Prince, who was still a babe himself. My mother told me she still remembered the gleam in Denethor's eyes as he told her about his plan, about how that would make him the Steward that made peace with the Haradrim by offering them his daughter. That look could still send shivers down her spine. So she saved me. She proved Denethor wrong in his beliefs that women could not plot - my mother made the whole of Gondor and even beyond believe that I had died, as had so many other babes before me, in my sleep. Most importantly, Denethor and the Haradrim Prince believed I was dead. She sent me off to the Riddermark and plotted her own death - succoumbed by grief - before following me.

I wish my father would have known before he died about the mastermind my mother was, because there was not a single fault in her plan. She told me about who I really was when I turned 16, and I managed to keep our secret for neigh on 5 years. And then I fell in love - or rather, realised I was in love.

I was in love with Eomer. I knew it because I missed him when he was away on marshall business; I worried for him. I knew it because I smiled when anyone brought him up in conversation. I knew it because, when I was at ease, my mind wandered to him and how he made me laugh, how he could strike up any type of conversation out of nowhere without needing any incentive, and my mind wandered often to how he cared for those he held dear. I also kned I should have never allowed myself to fall in love with him, because it could only bring us both pain.

Saoirse means freedom and I can guarantee you, you will see the irony of my name several times throughout this story.


	2. Permission

'Why do I need his permission?' I asked Olfete, 'It's not like he is going to give it to me,' I had half a mind to throw a babe's temper tantrum right then and there, but decided against it. I needed to stay in her good graces.  
'Because, _child,'_ dang, she could see right through me, 'he is your, _our_ , King, he has a need to know what goes on outside of Rohan, and to be quite frank I do not think he will want to send anyone else,' my head shot up at that last part. Olfete and I were wandering just outside the walls of Edoras, close enough to keep the city in our sights but far away enough to prevent any eaves of being dropped. Theoden King would not want to send anyone else?  
'What makes you say that?'

'Sorrun, for the life of me I had hoped and thought you had inherited some of your mother's wisdom, or at least _insight_ , and not just her blonde hair and green eyes,' Olfete had a way with words to always make me feel special.

'Your skill with a bow is impressive to say the least, Theoden King lets you accompany Eoreds at times because he knows you can be useful because of your… unique way of… tackling things,' there was a tone to her words I did not quite understand, was it humour? 'you usually get what you want,' _definitely_ humour now, 'and you know people,' she ended.  
'I know people?' the words were out of my mouth before I could think again about uttering them.

'Stop being so _dense_ , you know perfectly well what I mean,' ah, yes. Sorrun the people person. We both knew I _know_ know people, but what Olfete meant was that I have a knack for seeing through people. She proudly tells me time and again that my mother was happy to see that character trait she found so useful in her own experience, back in me. Seeing through people is not all Olfete cracks it up to be - you start to realize people are selfish and do not do a lot of things out of the good of their own heart if there is no benefit in it for themselves. She shot me an impatient look, reminding me she does not like it when I take too long to answer - something I had to work on.

'Fine. I will ask an audience with Theoden King to discuss the matter,'

/ / /

'A meeting? In Rivendell?' I knew what his next question would be, 'how do you know of this?' I had half a mind to respond with _oh, a little bird told me._ But I couldn't, of course. I was talking to my King. I also knew he already knew about this and that he was very interested in knowing how _I_ knew of this. We had maintained eye-contact throughout the conversation, but I could not help looking away as I replied to the King.

'The day before yesterday there was a traveller in the tavern, talking to Theodred, Eomer, and you, my Lord King. I overheard some of the conversation. He had talked about a dream that had left him with a great uneasiness regarding the fate of Middle Earth. He set out to Rivendell, as his dream told him, to find answers at a meeting of sorts. Later on I heard the traveller say he knew others would be present at this meeting, but none from the Mark and he thought it strange that there would be no representative of us present, with Theodred Prince having to protect the Mark,' lesson one to a good lie: stick as close to the truth as you can.

In truth, I had caught the name of the traveller and it was one I knew. It was Boromir. My brother. I did not know how I felt about having been so close to him without having seen him. The King stayed quiet so long I had to look back at him, only to find him looking at me with that piercing look of his.

'I see. And you want to be the one to embody the Mark?' why did he have to put it like that?

'Well, my lord King,' his look intensified and I knew he would have none of my usual avoiding-the-directness-at-hand-remarks, so I swallowed and inhaled deeply before I answered, 'I think somebody should. What is going to be decided at that meeting is of concern to the whole of Middle Earth and the Mark is no small part in that. But I understand you cannot send Theodred Prince, he is much needed here, as are Eowyn and Eomer. As are the rest of your men. I do not wish to imply I am the only one you could send, my Lord, but I do believe I could represent you well, as I have done during the trips throughout the mark in more peaceful times,' it felt like I had said all of that in one breath, which I probably did: the King made me nervous. I was no Lady - that he knew of, I was no one noble - to his awareness, and I felt quite small standing across from him and his piercing eyes.

I inhaled again, 'my intentions would be to be present in Rivendell, hear what is going to be said, and if you would wish me to be a part of what is going to be decided, then I shall. But should you wish for me to return and act on your orders, then that is what I shall do.' I waited to feel the blush - that traitorous red colour that overwhelmed me everytime I voiced my true thoughts, to spread across my cheeks, but other than a bit of warmth I felt my appearance stayed quite the same. Thank Bema.

'I see,' he started pacing in front of me and I felt all my courage drain away, 'what would _you_ rather do?' he then asked.

 _Stop being so dense_ Olfete's voice sounded in my head. I knew what he referred to.

'I think the dream should not be ignored, my Lord, and that the meeting has been arranged with a clear purpose in mind, my Lord King, and that is most likely to do with a mission. The conversation I overheard,' I looked away, 'was quite detailed,' I dared to look back at him again, 'and it has to do with the one Ring of power and that it has been found and needs to be destroyed. From what I have heard, I agree that it must be stopped and-'

'You think you can aid in the destruction of the One Ring?' he interrupted me.

'My Lord King, I think anyone who dares to stand against the dark forces rising, aids in the destruction of the One Ring. Some might do that from a distance, others from closer by,' my own words surprised me. Olfete would be proud of the poet inside me. He nodded and was quiet for a long time.

I looked around the King's quarters, my mind wandering. I was blessed that I had caught the King in the absence of Grima, one of the King's counsellors, for I do not know how the conversation had gone if he were present. It became rare to talk to the King without Grima present, and I thought I had to thank Olfete for that. Grima was a serpent and it was hard to see everyone realize that but the King. He was poisoning the King's mind with words that held no truth yet somehow, the King had a blind trust in him. I glanced over at the King and saw he looked tired, even more so than he had looked yesterday and the day before that. His hair - once so bright yellow as the sun, was looking grey and his eyes did not hold the same bright blue colour they once had. Being King is stressful, even in times of peace as there are always other matters at hand, and the recent growth in orks that roamed the plains of the Riddermark did not lessen his worries in the least.

'I see,' he said suddenly, abruptly ending my own thoughts, 'I agree,' he nodded, more to himself than to me, 'but it must not become apparent that _I_ sent you there, until it is too late to retrieve you,' I furrowed my brow in confusion for half a second before I realised, relieved, that he meant to say I had to leave before Grima found out. Or at least, that is what I _thought_ he meant. I nodded, determined. Suddenly he gave me a small smile.

'Take this night to say your farewells, you are to leave at dawn.' I blinked a couple of times in disbelief, uttered a thank you and bowed before I hastily took my leave. Once outside the Kings quarters, I felt like I could breathe normally again and then it hit me. Not goodbyes. Farewells.


	3. Finalities

Who to go to first? Eowyn, my dear friend who I could pierce with an arrow at times? Olfete, the woman who took it upon herself to stay with me and care for me after my mother passed? Or Eo-

'Ouch!' I bumped into someone as I was too busy with my own thoughts to look where I was going, but that person was walking so fast that I plummeted to the ground, 'watch where you are going and save me from a couple of bruises while you are at it!' I exclaimed before I even saw who it was. Big mistake.

'I have been sent on a merry chase! A case for the Kings most _trusted_ advisor, I was told, _of utmost importance,_ they told me! A flock of geese that terrorized the chickens, geese! _No one knows where they came from, Grima! The closest pond is miles away! This mystery has to be solved, Grima, for the King needs his chickens calm and peaceful so his morning eggs are not foiled!'_ I was still on the ground and he was towering over me as he voiced his displeasure. Definitely Olfete. I had to do my best not to laugh.

'Geese! In the Mark?' I tried to sound sincere, I really did. Unfortunately for me, Grima was also not so easily fooled.

'Mark my words, Sorrun, I will find the one responsible for this waste of time, and I will repay them in kind,' and with one last glare towards me, he stormed away. I, however, had no time to process what had just all come to pass as I heard someone approaching me. Was everyone out and about, strolling around the halls of Meduseld this night?

'What are you doing on the floor?' Eomer said behind me. I dared not look up, not yet.

'Admiring the new tiles your uncle has had placed,' I said.

'They're not new,' He responded.

'Really? You'd think I'd be able to see that, me being so close to them and all,' as Eomer laughed - a sound I rarely heard anymore, my head jerked up in response. He was smiling down at me and reached out his hand. He seemed in a better mood than usual. Him being the Third Marshal of the Mark, he was away a lot. He had recently returned and was yet to receive new orders. My guess was, with Grima in such a good mood after today, that he would be sent on patrol again soon enough.

'So?' he asked. Well, I guess that solved my initial problem of "who to tell first?".

'I bumped into Grima on my way back from Theoden King,' I said. His good mood vanished, but his hands stayed on mine after he helped me up. He led me a little further down the hall, towards one of the doors that led outside.

'Why were you with my uncle? And why did Grima leave you on the flo- never mind that. Why were you with Theoden?' it was hard to control my emotions with him near, and it was a real battle to fight the butterflies in my stomach at the sight of worry for me so evidently on his face.

We had stopped walking and were standing close to each other at the edge of one of the viewpoints that looked over Edoras. I was not sure this was the right place for this conversation, but I dared not alarm him more by suggesting we should find a quieter spot to talk. Eomer was, much like me, prone to _little_ outbursts of emotion and I could guess what his response was going to be. Eomer placed his hands on my cheeks and forced me to look up at him - I was taking too long to answer again. No one particularly liked it when I did that.

'Tell me,' he demanded, not unkindly, and I closed my eyes for half a second, bracing myself.

'I heard you, Theoden Prince and Theoden King talking to a traveller about a dream the traveller had. The dream had left the man uneasy and it had told him to seek answers in Rivendell, where a meeting would take place that could very well determine the fate of Middle Earth. He proceeded to ask if someone of the Mark would join him, but the King said that no one could be spared. I suggested to the King that I should go,' his hands dropped from my face. For a moment he was quiet.

'And why,' he breathed, 'did _you_ do that?' it was impressive really how fast his moods could change.

'Because I feel it is necessary for the Mark to be part of the future of Middle Earth,' I said.

'That is not what I meant, Sorrun,' I knew that.

'Who else could have gone? Our Prince? Eowyn? You?' he took a step back from me so fast that I thought he had been hit by something.

'Anyone but you!' he nearly shouted. Now I must have looked as if I had been slapped in the face.

'What is that supposed to mean?'

Eomer and me fighting was nothing new; one cannot control fire by adding more fire, but we could both be a relentless forest fire when arguing.

'How do you see this happening, Sorrun? You just march up to Rivendell, say a few words to the elven lord on behalf of Theoden and then you will be invited along? You are not even supposed to know of the existence of the meeting!' two things I love most: the over excessive use of my name, and answering a question with another question. Bema, he could make me angry.

'Well, that is about the jist of it! If it was all supposed to be so secret, how come you know of it? It was talked about in a _tavern_. And what did you mean, _anyone but you?'_ I really wanted to know.

'I am the Third Marshal of the Mark and-'

'A bloody arrogant one at that!'

'- the King and Theodred value my opinion in matters as such, _unlike some others_ ,' if he could breathe smoke through his nose, this is when it would have happened. A dragon would have been impressed; he was fuming.

'Do not make false pretenses I do not value your opinion, I just do not ask your permission as that is a completely different matter!' I had raised my voice slightly in my response. Olfete once said I am a force of nature when I am angry, but it was not until my arguments with Eomer became more frequent that I realised she was probably right.

' _I swear to the Gods, Eomer, if you do not tell me why you think I am not suited to represent the Riddermark -'_ he did not even let me finish.

'Well, you should ask my permission! Clearly you are not capable of making such decisions on your own. You are not going and that is final,'

Everyone deals with anger differently. Olfete starts crying out of frustration, Eowyn likes to hit things, Theodred grows scarily quiet like a calm before the storm, and Eomer and me… we like to make things worse.

' _Excuse me? Final,_ you say? Well, Eomer, son of Eomund, Third Marshal of the Riddermark of Theoden King, do I have news for you. You cannot forbid me things. I am going _and that is final!'_ when I compare Eomers anger to mine, I would say his is hot because he shouts and starts moving around restlessly. Mine is colder, maybe even harsher. Most of the time I do not raise my voice, but all warmth disappears and there is no trace of friendliness left as I grow distant. Eomer stopped dead in his movements and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he faced me with an expression I had never seen before. There was so much anger, but also worry, hurting, pride and something I could not quite place, but my heart skipped a beat at it.

'How can you be so stubborn, woman? Can you not see - that it is - foolish - that is to say…I will talk to Theoden to-', now it was my time to interrupt him.

'You will do no such thing! I have asked you several times why you deem me so incapable of attending the meeting on Theoden King's behalf, and I had no idea you have so little faith in me! All the journeys we had together, bringing the mark closer together and now you tell me that you do not want me to do that outside of the Mark, I simply can-'

'Marry me,'

The thing about fire is, though, that it burns out. Sooner or later there is nothing left to burn and the fire is no more. Normally, when Eomer says things like that - things that make my heart jump and my stomach flutter and my throat clench, the angry flames in me disappear, leaving only the warm and fuzzy feeling. But now I was confused.

I froze and was not able to look at him as I sorted through my thoughts.

Marry him? With all the misery that was going on in Middle Earth, how could be think of marriage? _Why_ did he think of marriage? Simply because then he could finally forbid me to do things (or so he thought)? To keep me from going to Rivendell, to keep me from playing my part in whatever was to come? Was it - I swallowed - simply because he loved me so that he wanted to keep me safe and out of harm's way? When I finally found the courage to look at him again, I saw he was standing close to me again and saw his anger had gone, too.

'Marry me,' he said again and try as I might I could not look away. He even smiled, a smile that reached his eyes, a smile that said that even he was surprised at what he was asking, but it was a happy surprise. Only then did I realise he had grabbed a hold of my hands again and he held them over his heart. I still hadn't found my voice, but I knew my answer. I swallowed a couple of times and fought with all my power against the tears.

'I cannot,'


	4. Farewells

For a moment I thought he would burst out in laughter. But he just looked at me while the meaning of my words hit him.

'You cannot?' he said in a tone I had never heard him use towards me before. It was stone cold. I could only nod. I felt his hands tighten on mine, but he did not do it to hurt me, only to make sure I had his attention.

' _You cannot?_ How can you lie to me like that, Sorrun? I _know_ you love me, Bema, everyone knows! And I know I love you, _everyone knows I love you!_ How can you lie, how can you say you cannot marry me? Are you afraid I will forbid you to go to Rivendell? The Gods know I should, but I never could. No one could ever force you to do anything you would not want to do. I know you want this, Sorrun, I know you,' Suddenly I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of my cold anger. He sounded so betrayed and I knew I was crying. He was right. Of course he was right. He knew I loved him even though I had never told him so. I had never been completely certain of his love for me, but when he said it like that, I felt like I had known all along. He knew me better than I knew myself at times.

But he did not know that I am Saoirse. He did not know I was the daughter of a man that was no friend of the Mark, of our King. I could not marry Eomer without him knowing who I was. It would hurt him that I had never before felt like I could trust him enough to tell him of how I came to Rohan.

In truth, I had wanted to tell him the second my mother told me, which she foresaw and warned me that I would put myself and him in danger if he knew. That it would do more harm than good if he knew. Sixteen year old me agreed and would never do anything that could possibly harm the older boy-soon-to-be-man whom I had a crush on. But as I grew older and talked to Olfete more, I realised that my mother had been so hurt by Denethor's betrayal that she would find it hard to see me put my trust in a man only to have it shattered. My mother had been hurt by the ones she loved so many times, that she only really trusted me and Olfete, and anyone else she was a bit skeptical of. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I was almost startled when Eomer spoke again.

'You must have known, must have felt, that me asking you to marry me was coming, right? I have never hidden my affections for you, I never could, not really. Sorrun, please say something,' I really, really wanted to say yes. To be as selfish as humanly possible and claim Eomer so that I could be his in return. But I knew that I could not live with myself if I said yes now. Too many things needed to be resolved first - he needed to know of my past, and I needed to follow Boromir to Rivendell. But would it be fair of me to ask him to wait for my return - if I was to return? And where would this war bring Eomer? I needed more time to gather my thoughts, but there simply was not enough time.

'Eomer, I am sorry, but I am not lying to you when I say I cannot marry you,' I wanted to say _because I can still want to marry you but be unable to,_ but I knew if Eomer heard me say "I want to marry you", there would be no way I could still hold him back, 'I mean it. I am going to Rivendell. On the morrow,' he winced as if I physically slapped him and I swallowed, 'I do not know when - if - I will be back and what will be decided on the way,' my voice broke at the end of that sentence and my eyes kept overflowing with tears. I had to force myself to keep on looking at Eomer; I needed to be as clear as I could be. But when he moved one of his hands to grab my hand to place it over his heart and placed his other hand under my chin to make me face him, I felt my courage and determination break. If there was one thing I hated more than the over excessive use of my name and the answering of a question with a question, it was breaking down in front of people, no matter who. So I pulled my hand free, pushed myself away from Eomer, and walked back inside.

I think I managed about two and a half steps before I found myself buried in his chest as he stroked my hair and planted a kiss on the top of my head.

'I will not let you walk away right now, Sorrun, try as you might. You infuriate me beyond words and I have never felt a greater need to destroy something than I do right now. You have not said no,' I began to protest but he shushed me, ' _let me finish._ You have not said no and were the circumstances different I am certain it would have been a yes, so when the circumstances are different, I will ask again,' as he said those last words I could hear his voice crack and all I could do to keep myself from falling apart was cling on to his armour as he planted another (longer, this time) kiss on the top of my head before he let me go and walked back inside.

/ / /

'Do you think I could join you?' Eowyn asked and my heart sank. I knew she longed for adventure. She was a very skilled swordswoman, but other than the few times we had run into small bands of orcs, free folk, or wildmen, she had not yet had the chance to test her skills truly, or so she believed. Everyone else recognized her as the skilled fighter she was.

'Eowyn, please, I told you the truth behind my journey because I do not wish to lie to you, but I did not mean it as an invitation for you to accompany me,' I did not add that I would have liked her to, but then there would be no changing her mind any more.

'You are needed here, Theoden King needs you and Eomer needs you. I feel the worst has yet to come and I am convinced you are needed here, with your people, so that they can draw comfort from you,' there weren't a lot of things I could say to make Eowyn stay put, but the mention of her people usually did the trick. She sighed and walked to the balcony of her sleeping quarters.

'You are right, of course,' she turned towards me again, 'he was wise to send you,' touched by her sweet words I walked over to her and hugged her. When we were younger and there were only a handful of girls who were eager to learn how to fight, it came to no one as a surprise that Eowyn and I became friends at a young age and have grown very close over the years.

'Thank you,' I said. It took me a little longer to let go of her as I was bracing myself for the next bit of news I had to tell her. When I had gathered all of my courage, I faced her.

'Eomer asked me to marry him,' of all the people I knew, Eowyn was one of the hardest to read. Her responses were just always so unexpected. I had no clue how she would respond now. She knew of my love for him, of course, and she had mentioned that he had made _interesting_ remarks about me, but she never literally told me he felt the same, because she believed no one should meddle in another's life like that.

'Finally,' she said and she smiled. I could see she was genuinely happy for me, for us, but I also saw the sorrow as she was aware of everything else going on in Middle Earth.

'I said I could not marry him,'

'You _what?'_

'Eowyn, please. I am to leave for Rivendell at dawn and no one knows when I will be back! No one knows what is going to happen in the time to come, I do not know where my journey will take me beyond Rivendell and I will never know where it will take him. Please understand,' I pleaded. Her face had shown nearly all possible emotions and it seemed she could not decide on one. I could have known it would be anger, she was of the same blood of Eomer, after all.

'Oh, I _understand,_ all right! You get the great adventure _and_ the great love story while I am to stay behind, unloved in an uneventful life,' she said angrily.

I could not move I was so shocked at what she said. Eowyn was younger than me, but we had lived close to similar lives - except for her being the niece of the King and me being a simple peasant. We both had never kissed before, and until I had realised I was in love with Eomer, we both had never had any interest in a man before. Eowyn was not jealous of me but rather envious and I had no idea how to respond to that. But what shocked me most was that she dared say her life was uneventful.

'Adventure it might be, but there is no way of knowing what kind of adventure it will be,' I felt like I needed to be harsher to truly make her understand, 'it could be my last. And you could regret uttering the words you have just said as events might come to pass you could never have anticipated,' Eowyn looked down and I hoped she understood what I was trying to tell her. She nodded once.

'I will miss you. Be careful. I will not ask you to send word when you can, because I think that would be impossible. Just be careful, Sorrun, we need you back,' she said, voice tight with emotion as she hugged me. I felt my eyes tear up.

'I will miss you, too. I will be careful and you should be, too. Stay away from Grima, Eowyn, I do not trust him at all. And try to- make sure that Eomer… his anger should not-' I was struggling to find the words that I needed to say to make Eowyn understand to watch Eomer for me.

'I know. I will, although it will not be an easy thing to do,' I looked at her and saw that her eyes were filled with tears, too. Despite ourselves we laughed and I turned to leave.

'Do good, Sorrun', Eowyn said. I turned back to smile at her, but saw she had already turned her back towards me. I silently made my way out of her chambers and felt happy that I had left Olfete last, because I knew she, at least, would support my decision.


	5. Departure

I have never been a morning person. This was troublesome in my normal life, but I knew it would create real issues during my journey to Rivendell and wherever that would take me. So when I had to get up before it was even light out the next morning, I was not happy about it. When I had gotten home late last night, Olfete told me she already knew I was going, because I had been away so long and that could only mean one thing. She said we would save our farewells for later as she was planning on accompanying me at least until we reached the border of the Mark. I hugged her in thanks, happy that I would not start off my journey on my own.

When I arrived at the stables a little later, I saw I could not have been more wrong and I would be far away from being on my own just yet. Olfete was there already, but so was Eomer and at least half his eored. I felt an anger rising in me and I had to remind myself there could be a very reasonable excuse for them all being there that had nothing to do with me. I saw Eomer between his men - somehow I could always find his face, no matter how big the crowd that he was in. I also knew _he_ knew I was there, because he was busying himself with Firefoot's straps that were already tightly secured and he looked everywhere but where I was. But he knew as well as I did there was no avoiding each other in the stables as my horse, Hefric, was kept next to Firefoot.

'Before you chastise me in thinking I am joining you; I am not. I am to go patrol the borders to work our way through the lands. There have been more and more reports on stolen horses and we aim to find out who is responsible,' _see,_ I told myself, _perfectly reasonable excuse._ He turned to look down on me, not in the negative way but because he was so ridiculously tall and I a fair bit shorter than him. He had an unreadable expression on his face, but there was definitely fatigue. He was not a morning person, either.

'I was not going to chastise you, Eomer, I was just simply wondering what mission of yours could be so urgent you had to rise before dawn, as I had,' I did not sound angry, but I did not sound particularly warm either, so I added, 'I had hoped to see you before I left, because our farewell of yesterday did not go at all the way I wished it had,' like receiving a parting kiss, for example.

'It seems we do not have to say our goodbyes just yet after all. As we set out in the same direction, Eothain and I decided to accompany you to the border before you…' he mumbled the rest, but it sounded like _continue on this wretched mission on your own_. I did not want to fight with him now, so I hugged him.

The truth was, I was scared out of my mind to go on this journey and I had not allowed myself to give in to that fear. Yet when Eomer told me they, _he,_ would join me at least at the beginning, I was overwhelmed by the relief I felt.

'Thank you,' I said to his chest. I wanted to say more, wanted to voice my worries, but I had to be careful because if Eomer knew just how scared I was, he would do anything within his power to stop me from going. Even if that meant going himself.

'Are you certain you want to take Hefric?' he suddenly asked. I let go of him and wanted to take a step back, but he grabbed hold of my hands again. He did that a lot lately.

'Yes, why?'

'He is not a warhorse, he is not trained to be out on the fields when-' he stopped mid-sentence and I knew where he was going with it, _when there are orcs and other creatures trying to kill you,_ 'Hefric is one of our fastest horses and was gifted to you when we no longer needed him to carry our messenger to and from Gondor,' Eomer continued. Not so long ago, the Mark and Gondor faced a mutual threat for nearly half a dozen years in the form of wildmen and Gondor was in close contact with us, talking about strategies. When the wildmen were chased away, the messenger retired but Helfric was still fit and was still one of the fastest.

'You might need a horse that is more accustomed to the things you might face,' he concluded and I felt one of his hands tremble. I swallowed.

'I am sure I want to take Hefric, I will need a steed with the power of the ocean in his strides for I know I need to make haste to go to Rivendell. And Hefric has carried me when we fought the orcs not so long ago. We are good together,' I also knew he would happily order one of his men to give their horse to me and I was not sure I would be comfortable on a big, temperamental war horse. Not to mention that specific man would voice no objections, but would not thank me for it, either. The men of the Mark bonded with their horses that was uncommon in the rest of Middle Earth, and to part with one's horse would grief any Rohic. Eomer nodded as if he was part of my thought process.

'Very well. Have you packed everything? A cloak? Enough Arrows? Equipment to forge new arrows? Tell me you also brought a sword, or at least a dirk,' I almost laughed at his fussing as it was so out of character for him. Almost. And then I saw the look on his face and all there was to see was worry.

'I have the cloak Eowyn gifted me three Yule's ago, about five dozen arrows, of course I brought the materials to craft new arrows and I'm guessing there will be an abundance of wood as most part of my journey takes me through forests,' I was strapping my cloak on the back of my saddle, but stopped as I came to the last item on Eomer's list.

'No, I did not bring a dirk. I have not had the chance to get a new one after that little… hiccup at the lake last summer,' during one of the many hot summer nights on a more seldom pieceful day, many people of Edoras had gone to the lake to celebrate a moment of piece. I had lost a bet that resulted in me losing my dirk to the winner. I was not a sore loser, Eowyn thought it was hilarious, but Eomer was particularly angry that the winner was prancing around proudly with his new possession for the rest of the day. To my surprise, Eomer laughed at this.

'Ah, yes. You thought Aldin would not be able to climb the Spring tree higher than Ryce. You were so convinced Ryce would win that you wagered your dirk,' his face lit up for a moment as he thought back at happier times. His face became all business soon enough as he reached down to his boot and pulled out his own dirk. I went rigid.

'Eomer, no. That was your father's,' when his father passed, Eomer inherited all his armour and possessions. He never used the armour as Eomer did not fit in it - his father was not as ridiculously tall as he, and the sword was at his home. He once told me he did not yet feel worthy to wield his father's sword. But he had kept his dirk on him ever since.

'I am aware,' he said dryly, 'but I have another and you have none. Take it,' I looked up at him and in that moment unspoken words passed between us, that I would give back the dirk when I would see him again. If I would see him again. The girl in me squirmed at the realisation that I would also marry him if I would see him again. I took the dirk and tucked it safely in my knee-high boots.

'Thank you,' I said, but I hoped I never had to use it. As good as I was with my bow and arrows, I did not know what I was doing with a sword in my hands most of the time. It just felt unnatural to me and that does not work, as a sword is supposed to be an extension to your arm. I just found it a heavy nuisance. A dirk was a fine compromise, though: bigger than a dagger but way smaller and lighter than a sword. I looked around and saw that the stables had emptied and that only Olfete, Eomer and I remained. Olfete gave me a look before she headed out herself and I could only interpret that look as _hurry up, foolish love sick child._ I cleared my throat and took some distance from Eomer to guide Hefric outside, causing me to let go of Eomers hand. I started to feel uneasy as soon as I let go, but we had to start moving if I was to reach the border in time. Eomer seemed to think the same as he walked over to Firefoot, but not before he took one of my saddlebags and secured it to his own.

'What do you think you're doing?' I said in protest. I tugged on the reigns to move Hefric and started to move out of the stables all the while trying to reach over to Firefoot to get my own bag back.

'What have you stored in this bag?' he asked. I gritted my teeth. The fact that I could barely reach my bag he had secured on Firefoot did nothing to improve my temper. I sighed heavily before answering.

'Spare clothes, some bandages, needle and thread, strings for my bow, and other things that are none of your concern _now give me back my bag, Eomer,'_ I summarized impatiently. Eomer burst out laughing.

'Easy there, firebug. You must know it has become entertaining for me to see you flare up when I answer one of your precious questions with a question of myself. You will get your bag back when we part ways, for now I think Hefric is packed heavily enough. He is not used to carrying so much weight, so we need to ease him into it, giving him time to get accustomed to the extra weight,' and with that, he unclasped another bag of mine - the one where I stored some books, a couple of embroidered cloths, extra boots, and a small clay horse. It was a heavier bag and Eomer shook it once, a look of clear puzzlement on his face as he wondered what I kept in that one. I felt my face turn red and asked the Valar that he would not ask me what else I had packed.

'And this one, then?' he asked just before we stepped outside the stables. I stopped; I did not want others to hear what I was going to say next.

'Some books -' I couldn't even finish.

'Books! You think you will be making a leisurely stop at a nice valley where you can just sit back and read? Or perhaps go to a library to exchange your volumes for others? Honestly, Sorrun, if you thought bringing books was a good ide-' I was too hopeful to think this day would pass without Eomer and me fighting, but sometimes he just really was as subtle as a broomstick.

'There are two books, one that used to belong to my mother that holds poetry and small drawings of her and Olfete and me. The other one is the one you gave me when Eowyn gave me the cloak three Yules back,' needless to say that that one held drawings of him, Eowyn, Theodred, Olfete and all the other people I knew from the Mark, 'I was going to give them both to Olfete when we would part ways at the border, but now I have half a mind to chuck them in Hefric's stable and shoot a quick prayer that they will survive the dirt and weather and come out unscathed!' I knew Eomer almost my entire life and I could count on one hand the times he was at a loss for words - most of them caused by me, and it never disappointed to see him like this. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, making him look like a fish on dry land. Despite the situation, I laughed.

'Do not jump to conclusions so fast, Eomer, not everyone has the Angelic patience I possess,' I joked.

'I am sorry, I thought you meant the other kind of books. I guess I must count on Eowyn to keep me from my more traitorous traits,' he paused.

'Indeed, give them to Olfete before you leave, I trust her to keep them safe,' but nonetheless he strapped the bag to his own saddle and walked out of the stables.

I thanked Bema I had come out of this situation relatively fine, but I would wager my dirk all over again that Eomer would lose it if I had told him I had also taken the miniature horse that he knows represents him.


	6. Wagers

Why must I always underestimate things? Well, not always nor all things, but the things that matter. I had ridden longer distances before, of course, but after riding almost non-stop for two days, I was second guessing my decision to go on this journey. I tried to find things that would keep my mind off of the fact that I would be riding more than I would not be riding for the Gods know how long, and found that taking in my surroundings did the trick quite well.

I always thought of the Riddermark as a beautiful wasteland of sorts with its rock formations and lack of greenery for a big part. Bearing in mind the fact that I would not see it for quite some time if ever again, I found new appreciation for it. I had always loved looking at the sky, be it day time or night, full-on blue or cloudy, its beauty and changing nature fascinated me.

I was riding next to Olfete and we would soon stop for the night. At this pace, we would reach the border tomorrow night and we would make one final camp there before I would go my separate way. Olfete and I had fallen into a comfortable silence and I looked up at the starry sky, trying to find the patterns in the stars I would so often do.

'Your mother would have been proud, I will have you know that,' Olfete said solemnly. When I looked over at her I found her already looking at me and I swear her eyes glistened more than usual. I was not ready for this conversation, it sounded like a goodbye too much already.

'Thank you. I would not have become the woman I am today if it was not for her,' I smiled, 'and you,' she looked taken aback at this, but then smiled back at me.

'Thank you. But I think you mean you would not have became the _girl_ you are today, my dear,' and people wonder where I had gotten my retorts from. We both laughed and the comfortable silence returned once again.

/ / /

The camp was set and I took in my surroundings for one last time. I had not bothered packing a tent of some sorts as I was way too impatient to set one up. I would just make do with my cloak and perhaps even sleep on Hefric after tonight. But tonight I shared a tent with Olfete one last time. I was just not ready yet to head inside and get that much needed rest.

I was looking around at the people I considered to be a part of: I may have been born as a Gondorian noble, but I had grown up to be a Rohirric woman and I was more than fine with that. Olfete told me many times about the differences between Gondor and the Mark and she told me that the people of Gondor value their titles and bloodlines more than the people of the Mark. It did not matter here whether you were kin to the King or not, everyone had to pull their weight to support the Mark. Everyone knew Theoden King had spent hours in the gardens, hours on the fields, hours in the bakeries and hours at the houses of healing to show us he does not feel as though he is above us. Denethor would think Theoden to be a weaker man for that, but not many would share his opinion. No one in the Mark would. Theoden King does, in turn, not think highly of Denethor, which made sense to me. Another reason why I had kept my secret from my King. A campfire not far off our tent caught my attention as there was no one seated around it and I walked over and sat down. This would be my last campfire for quite a while as it would be foolish for me to start one during the rest of my journey. Great way to attract unwanted visitors.

But tonight, our number was great and we felt confident we would not be attacked. We were still on the safe side of the border. Yet I felt uneasy when I sat down beside the fire, but I shrugged it off thinking it was normal to feel this way before riding off into the Valar knows where. I had made it a habit to carry my bow and arrows with me, even in the safety of camps, and I was making sure the string was still tight and hadn't gone loose. Then I applied an oil of sorts that made sure the wood would stay flexible. From the corner of my eye I saw Ryce sitting down beside me. He was younger than Eomer and was one of his trusted riders in his eored. Ryce was my best friend. The thought occurred to me that Ryce had sought me out every night so far and I wondered if he just enjoyed my company, or if there was another reason. A command from higher up, perhaps?

'Aldin wanted to give you back your dirk, you know. For your… mission,' he started. That was another difference between Gondor and the Mark, Olfete had once told me, there was almost no secrecy here, especially not in matters that had impact on all of the mark. So I was not surprised that Ryce knew what I was going to do. I figured the whole Eored would know by now.

'Did he? Why? He won it fair and square and it has been in his possession for quite a while now,' I said. I laid my bow down on the ground close to the fire so the oil could be soaked up and gave Ryce my full attention.

'He figured you would not have a new one yet, as you rarely made use of it anyway, and he also figured you would need one. But then, of course, Eomer overheard him talking and said there was no need, that he had already given you a dirk. I wagered Aldin that he gave you his,' I smiled. They had always liked to wager things.

'What did you wager him for?' I asked. Now he smiled.

'You would not approve,' he said and winked. I raised an eyebrow.

'Am I that sensitive? Go on, tell me,' I had not seen that Aldin had joined us before he spoke up next.

'To have the first dance with you upon your return,' Aldin said with a big grin. I pretended to be shocked. I was not going to ruin this last moment of carefree banter with thoughts of more realistic things, such as the doubts I had _if_ I would even return.

'Boys, boys. It is not up to you to decide for me whom I have my first dance with, cause you will need _my_ permission for that. However, it has been some time since I was the subject of your wagers and if I remember correctly, Aldin won the last. Truth would have it so that Eomer, indeed, gave me his dirk, making Ryce the victor. Now you have equally won and lost wagers concerning me and I must ask you to never include me in one again,' I laughed as Aldin looked sad and Ryce smiled broadly.

'So you will dance with me?' He asked.

'I will dance with you,' now they both laughed.

'You see, we wagered you would say that. Aldin said you would agree and wagered that if he was right, he would win the _second_ dance with you,' now I did not have to feign shock. They were so cunning. After the initial shock I laughed.

'You are too calculating for your own goods, horse-lords,' I said, but no response came.  
When I looked up, I saw that the atmosphere had changed in the camp. I saw Aldin held his sword a little too tightly for it to be casual, and Ryce had done the same. I looked beyond our campfire and saw all the men were pretending to be in conversations, pretending to move bags around, but in reality, they were on high alert. I had seen this once or twice before and I knew something was about to happen. How long had I been unaware of the imminent danger? Or was I not as unaware as I thought, as I had felt restless from the moment I sat down at the fire? Ryce motioned me to stay where I was and go along with their pretending, so I did. But where was Eomer? I had not seen him in the camp yet tonight.

'I can only hope your dancing is as good as your cunning, because I wish my toes to survive the night,' I said. I did not like this waiting game one bit.


	7. Underestimated

I really wanted to grab my bow, but it was just a little too far away that I could grab it and have it seem casual. What a great way to start off my journey, I would have to be in close combat already. Were we waiting for them to attack us or were we to make the first move? My question was answered for me as I heard a horn - our horn - being blown and then there was chaos. I shot up and quickly assessed if there really was no way for me to use my bow, but there were too many of our men around me and I was worried I might shoot them instead of the enemy. We were on level ground, but there were trees I could climb. I also saw we had to deal with orcs and I quickly grabbed my bow and arrows, strapped them on my back, grabbed my dirk and headed for the trees. I cursed, the oil had not been soaked up completely and it would be challenging to hold onto it firmly.

I now saw that the campfire I was at, was at the center of the camp, so the orcs had not reached us yet. I searched for Eomer in the chaos, but I could not find him and that worried me. I suddenly understood why men did not wish for their beloved women to be in battle as it is quite distracting to have to focus while being worried. The closer I got to the trees, however, the closer I came to the invading orcs and soon enough I found myself face-to-face with a particularly ugly one. His rusty sword was swaying from left to right as he charged me, but I was faster and I could not help but feeling there was no strategy to his attack, as I so often felt when facing orcs. They were fighting machines, yes, and they had stamina men were jealous of, but the way they fought was in no way the same to ours. There was no anticipating moves, there was no defense, there was just charging and offence.

I ducked a blow from his left and cut his knee where his skin showed through his leg piece. He shrieked and grabbed his knee and I saw and took this opportunity to drive my dirk in the side of his neck. Soon he dropped to the ground and I kept moving forward. I was only thinking about getting to the trees and fighting any orc that crossed my path - and there were several - that I took no heed of how the rest of the men were doing. They were better fighters than me and this was not a particularly big band of orcs; I used those thoughts to sooth my mind from worries. When I had killed another orc I took three seconds to look around me and saw there were only a few orcs left and there was no need for me to use my bow anymore. I also saw that Ryce had kept close to me and was also without a foe and our eyes met. Half a second later his face grew grim.

'Sorrun!' he warned and I turned around and saw another orc charge me. I wasn't ready. I swerved to my right, where I took just a second too long to secure my footing and it pushed me with all his weight and fell next to me. It had fallen on its sword, but it had not pierced him, and it was struggling to free it from beneath him. That was all I needed and I drove my dirk in the gap in his armour beneath his armpit, a particularly painful place to get stabbed.

I had no time to get on my feet on my own as I was hoisted up by who I thought was Ryce, but turned out to be Eomer. I swallowed, he looked furious as he looked me up and down.

'Are you alright?' he demanded.

'Yes, are you?' I quickly looked him over and could find no cuts and saw only orc-blood.

'Fine. Why were you going to the woods? Did you not see that was where they were coming from?' oh. Beginner's mistake, I thought to myself. I knew I was going to sound foolish in my explanation, but there was no way out of this.

'I searched for a vantage point so I could use my bow. I thought I could either use the cover of the trees or climb one,' I did not know it was possible he could get any angrier, but as always, he loved to prove me wrong.

'We are mostly in an open field with the edge of a forest on one side. It did not occur to you that that was the only entry point for the orcs to attack us?! If you are not certain of your abilities, you should not be in battle!' he said. I could only look at him, I did not even felt anger, only hurt. His shoulders were rising up and down he was breathing so hard. It took him a little while to realize what he had said and he closed his eyes and exhaled before speaking again.

'What I meant to say was-' he started. I did not let him finish .

'That you were worried? Then say those words, Eomer, and do not treat me like a young soldier on your training fields! Tell me something. If bows and arrows were the standard weapon of choice in battle, but you felt more confident using a sword, you would do anything to try and use your sword, am I right? You would use a bow and arrow only when absolutely necessary, not because you are not able to handle one, but because you know you are more lethal using your bow. That, Eomer, is why I made for the forest,' I paused and he actually had the decency to look half ashamed and somewhat astonished, 'but you were right. I had not seen them coming from the woods. I shall be more cautious next time,' I wanted to walk away, but I knew he hated it when I did that and I also knew the conversation had not yet come to an end.

'I had not thought of it that way. I am - sorry, Sorrun,' he lowered his voice a bit, 'I was worried. I could not find you in the camp after I came back from patrolling the other direction, and the scout that searched the woods said they were clear. I should send another party to make sure as that forest is part of your journey,' I had forgotten about that. I looked back at the woods and swallowed.

'Have they not charged us with everything they had?' he smiled a small smile and touched my cheek.

'It does not always work that way, Sorrun,'

'Well, no matter. I do not think you should send anyone out, I have a bigger chance of slipping by on my own unnoticed if there are any orcs still lingering there,' not to say I would not have him sacrifice men to make the start of my journey easier.

'No,' he simply said.

'What do you mean, no?' I was confused.

'I will send men to scout before you leave tomorrow morning. You have not given me any compromise that allowed me to help make your journey easier, so that I will do. No matter your objections,' as stubborn as always, but he looked so determined. From the corner of my eye I suddenly saw Eothain, waiting for us to finish our conversation, looking extremely uncomfortable at overhearing what was said.

'Yes?' Eomer said, while still looking at me, but addressing Eothain. His hand fell from my face.

'Eomer, the camp is secure again,' he started.

'Good. Have we lost any men?'

'No, sir. No one is particularly hurt either, we have been lucky. The orcs must have misjudged our numbers and attacked thinking it would be an easy victory. We found several of our horses a little way into the woods. Stolen horses, from one of the villages close by,' at this, Eomer looked at Eothain.

'How could the scout miss the horses? Take me to them,' he said but he looked back at me and did not move away. Eothain took the hint and went to stand out of earshot.

'I saw you fall when that orc charged you. Are you sure you are unhurt?' I had fallen on my hip and I knew it was going to be a big bruise, but thought it unnecessary to voice that.

'I'm fine, Eomer. I'm not bleeding,' at this he nodded, looked me over once more, and for half a second I saw a puzzled look cross his face before he bend down to plant a kiss on my forehead. I was unable to move after that while he walked away. He had never done that before. He had kissed the top of my head a dozen times before and I loved it when he did that, but this was new. In a daze I walked back to Ryce, who was grinning ear to ear.

'Not a word,' I said.

'Would not dream of it. Let me take you back to your tent,'

/ / /

'Are you alright?' Olfete said as soon as she saw me approach our tent.

'Yes, it was but a short fight and I am not wounded,' she let out a sigh of relief.

'Short fight or not, a lot of damage could have been done and I was to stay inside this tent! The audacity of some of the young men, thinking they can order me around like that,' I smiled. Olfete was by no means a fighter and she would have never charged outside of the safety of the tent to take part in the battle. She did, however, love to pretend she would and then complain that others had stopped her. In truth, she was thankful for such protection.

'I will take my leave with my mind at ease that I left you in the capable hands of Olfete,' Ryce said, gave me a nod and gave Olfete a small bow, all the while grinning from ear to ear before he added, 'I will see you in the morning,' and walked off.

His last comment caused a great shift in my mood, as I had thought of a new plan that no one would be happy about when they found out in the morning. Olfete was oblivious to my change in mood as she walked back inside the tent, talking about the shrieks and other sounds of orcs that disgusted her.

'Olfete, I am going to leave soon,' I said. Her back was turned to me and went rigid before she pulled herself together again to face me.

'Not tomorrow morning, then?' but she did not sound surprised. I shook my head.

'I thought you might come up with a silly idea like that. Why?' I sighed and looked down.

'Why postpone the inevitable? I am-'

'The truth, my dear,' how was she always able to do that?! I looked her right in her eyes as I gave her what she wanted, the truth.

'Eomer wants to send out a patrol to sweep a part of the forest that I am to journey through, and I do not think it a good idea. A waste of time, energy, and possibly men. I am faster on my own and my chances of slipping by unnoticed are higher when I am alone. He disagrees,' she was silent for a bit.

'I agree with you. Are you going to say goodbye to him? No one would like it if you just went without a word,' I sighed.

'I am afraid he will stop me,'

'Only if you allow him to stop you, Saoirse,' why did everyone feel the need to shock me today? First a kiss on my forehead from Eomer, and now Olfete used my true name. I had not heard her say that in a very, very long time. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I knew this was our final goodbye. She hurried over to me and pulled me in an embrace.

'I know, sweetheart. Let it all out,' and I did. I do not know how long we stood like that while I cried like a babe, but I let it all out. The fear I felt was overwhelming and what I wanted most at that moment was someone that would tell me everything would be alright. But no one knew if it would ever be alright again, so no one could ease my mind. I was afraid of so many things. Of what I would encounter on my journey to Rivendell. I was afraid if they would even let me in Rivendell, if they would even let me join the meeting, if they would even include me in what was to happen after. I was afraid I would die. But as Olfete held me and I was quickly running out of tears to shed, I told myself this was the last time I would allow the fear to coarse through me. I would accept my fate, I would carry myself as a true representative of Rohan. I gave myself five more seconds of fear and as I counted down from five to zero, I felt myself grow easier and my tears had stopped. Olfete let go of the embrace but kept me at arms length, holding on to my shoulders.

'I know you will do what is right, Saoirse, you always do. I feel your part in this is great and I will take pride in everything I have taught you that will be of use to you. Remember to stay true to yourself, my dear, your lightheartedness and retorts will make anyone forget the peril they are in,' I do not remember the last time I saw Olfete cry other than the handful times her eyes welled up, but now the tears were rolling down her face. If I thought I had shed all my tears, I was sorely mistaken as I felt my cheeks getting wet again.

'Try not to let your anger take over and please try to be more patient with people,' despite her words - which were true and honest and a bit painful - I laughed.

'I will try,' I said, 'thank you Cellien, I will cherish all you have taught me and the thought of you will comfort me in harder times to come,' I moved to one of my saddlebags where I kept the books and other keepsakes from home. I pulled out the books.

'I wanted to ask if you could keep these safe for me,' I said and I gave them to her. She looked them over and recognized them immediately. She looked back up at me and handed me back one.

'Take this one with you,' she said, 'I'm sure Hefric can handle the little bit of extra weight,' I looked at the book she had given back to me and recognized it to be the one that Eomer had given me. I felt new tears well up, _stop crying,_ I told myself. I held the book tightly as I walked back to my bags and put the book back before picking up my bags. Enough time had passed that the camp had settled down and I hoped I would not attract everyone's attention when I left.

'Westu Hal, Sorrun,' she said.  
'Westu Hal, Olfete,'


	8. Flight

I knew Eomer would still be awake somewhere and as I searched for him, I felt a nervousness quickly spreading through me. _How on Arda was I going to tell him?_ I was walking with Hefric beside me, all saddled up and ready to go. I had no idea how I was going to handle this situation, so I was just going to improvise my way through it. I had searched the whole camp and I felt my throat tighten at the idea that Eomer might be out on patrol. He would be unforgivably angry with me if I left without saying goodbye. I looked over at the forest as a campfire caught my attention and made my way over there, hoping he would be there.

There he was.

And he saw me.

As I came closer I dreaded to see his angry face, I dreaded the words he would say in attempting to stop me.

And then I saw his face and he looked hurt. There was no anger. This was going to be harder than I thought. I came to a halt before him.

'No,' he simply said.

'Eomer, plea-'

'Were you even going to say anything?' Eomer wouldn't be Eomer if there wasn't a bit of anger in his voice.

'I have been looking for you all over camp and this was the last place I had to look,' the anger vanished; he believed me.

'No,' he said again.

'You could send as many troops as you deem necessary ahead of me, but it will not change the fact that I will face danger, Eomer, it is inevitable. Please, _please_ do not make this harder than it already is,' I pleaded. He seemed unimpressed.

'I will not have you take off in a forest that held an ambush for you. If we had not set out camp here tonight you would have faced them all alone, Sorrun,' I had not thought of it that way, but it made no difference to me. He reached for my hand again and he closed his hand over mine. My hand felt so tiny inside his, so vulnerable.

'I must again ask of you to _really_ think of what you are about to embark on, firebug. What happened here tonight is child's play compared to what may lay ahead,' he continued. I was struggling to hold on to my determination. Why did he have to look at me like that?

'I will not back away now, I must do this for the Mark,' his hand clenched tighter over mine.

'Sorrun…' he sounded defeated and I was taken aback at how that startled me. Eomer never sounded defeated. Suddenly I wondered how my true name would sound when he would say it and for half a second I thought about telling him. It would make him angry enough to let me go, but I felt I could not hurt him like that, not now. I would have to deal with the fact that he may never know, but I would do all I could to have him know how much he meant to me.

'Have a little faith in me, Eomer. I will do everything in my power to come back to you,' I inhaled deeply, 'I love you,'.

I felt nervous saying that for the first time, but I could not part with him now without him ever having heard me saying that I loved him. To me, it felt right saying it now. His shoulders dropped and he closed his eyes before exhaling strongly. I had no idea what was going on inside his mind and that frustrated me to no end. I wondered if he was going to say it back. He stayed silent for so long I was afraid he would say something along the lines of _if you really love me, you would stay here_ , but quickly dismissed that thought. He would never say that.

He opened his eyes again and he looked at me. _Or would he…_

'Don't you dare,' he started. I then realized he had taken so long to respond because he was fighting the rising anger in him. I wondered if a day had ever passed when he was _not_ angry. 'make this sound like a farewell. Why would you tell me that only now? You talk of me having faith in you to return, but you do not share that faith or you would have said yes when I asked you to marry me. Are you even planning on returning to the Mark after?' I was astonished. I jerked my hand free, took a step back and focused my attention on securing my bags to my saddle. They were already perfectly secure, of course.

'I tell you I love you and that is how you respond? By asking if I am planning on returning? Did you hear how stupid you sounded when you said those words? As if I have any other place to go to. I belong -'

'Then what are you not telling me?' _for the love of the Gods if he would not stop interrupting me._ I kept my back turned towards him as realisation hit me. Somehow, he found out that I was keeping something from him. I felt as though I was dipped in ice water at the possibility that he had overheard Olfete and me. I was still trying to find a response when I felt his hands on me as he angrily turned me to face him and push me against Hefric's side. My good steed did not move, so I was pinned stuck.

'What are you not telling me?' he demanded again. Oh, lord. He was so, so close. I saw the colour of honey around his pupils in the middle of his dark blue eyes. Those beautiful, piercing eyes. I had once already doubted my decision not to tell him about my past and decided against it, so that was what I was going to do this time, too. But I could not lie to him, either.

'You said you would ask me to marry you again when the circumstances are different. You said that, thinking the only reason I cannot marry you is because of the possibility that we are on the brink of war. That is one reason, yes, but I have another,' I tried to look for the right words to tell him next, but apparently I had tested his patience for long enough.

'Is there someone else you're promised to?' what the-

'No, of course not! Why - how - why would you think that?'

'Then what, Sorrun?' he almost shook me in desperation and it would have almost been comical if I had not seen the hurt in his eyes.

'You would not know who you married, Eomer,' I said.

'That's not good enough!' he said as soon as he realized I wasn't going to say any more.

'I have known you your entire life. You are right in thinking you will come back changed, but you will still be _you,_ Sorrun,' _how was I going to get myself out of this situation?_ I wondered desperately.

Then I knew. There weren't many things that would shock Eomer, but I knew kissing him would - he was a man of honour, after all. Before I had time to change my mind - by thinking this was not at all the time nor place I wanted our first kiss to happen, I moved quickly. As he was so close to me already, I did not have to stand all the way on the tips of my toes, but still had to reach up before I could plant my lips on his. As soon as I did, I felt him go rigid for a couple of seconds before he responded by pushing me back. I was so shocked at his response that my mind went blank for a couple of moments. The silence between us was deafening, but I dared not look at him. _Why had he rejected me?_ I was glad the campfire wasn't blazing as much as it had done before so he could not see the hurt on my face. I cursed myself for feeling tears well up and hastily brushed them away before he could see them.

'Sorrun, -' he said softly. I felt his hand on my cheek and almost pushed it away, but before my hand made it even halfway up I felt his lips on mine once again as he bent down to kiss me. See, I had planned to shock him with a hasty, passionate kiss - or what I thought would have been one, cause what did I know about kissing, really - but his strategy worked _way_ better. His lips brushed mine softly at first and when I did not move away, he put his other hand in my neck and pulled me closer slowly, pressing his lips just a bit harder on mine. I almost lost it. Most of my thoughts escaped me. I had been nailed to the ground so far, but now I sort of regained control over my muscles again and I put one hand on his chest while the other closed around the wrist of his hand that cupped my cheek. Gradually the kiss grew more intense as he pulled me closer.

All of a sudden I realised I had come here for a reason and that was that I needed to convince Eomer I needed to go _now._ This was not working, he had turned the tables around and anything he would ask of me now I would be happy to oblige to. So my mind raced at the same pace as my heart to come up with something to turn the tables once more. Then it came to me. Eowyn once told me, when she was very, _very_ drunk, that she had overheard one of the kitchen maids say to another maid that she had softly bitten the lower lip of a man once and that the man was so shocked he promptly let her go and had walked away, muttering something about the nerve of the girl to do such a thing. So I softly bit his lower lip and hoped Eomer would be so shocked, so appalled, he would walk away, too.

Remember when I said I underestimate things? Sometimes I also overestimate things. Like Eomers constraint, for example. He did not let go. He was not shocked. His hands moved from my face to my waist and he lifted me off the ground effortlessly. I had placed my arms around his neck, but our lips never parted. So many emotions were coursing through my body, desperation and passion dominating sense and sensibility. Eomer had pushed me against something and broke off the kiss. We were both breathing heavily and now I cursed the campfire for not shining bright enough for me to see his face clearly.

'I cannot see how you could be anyone different nor do I care. _Marry me, woman,'_ Eomer breathed. His voice was hoarse and I could hear he was smiling. I was dazed. I felt happy, warm and cosy as I was still in his arms, lifted off the ground.

'Yes,' I heard myself whisper. He kissed me again and for the life of me I did not want to him to stop. He had lifted me up even higher and all of a sudden I found myself on top of Hefric as he broke us apart again. I felt a cold breeze pass my face, which brought me back to reality. I swallowed. I saw Eomer was breathing hard. He grabbed hold of my hands as I kept sitting side-saddle for now.

'You can tell me whatever it was that made you so hesitant to say yes when you return to me. I will still want you to be mine, to be my wife,' Eomer said. I could only hope that was true. I swallowed again. I was to be his wife. I could still hardly believe it. As the breeze had turned into a steady wind, I sobered up more. _I was to be his wife._ My plan had backfired so badly that the exact opposite had happened from what I had hoped. I wanted to make him angry enough so he would let me leave in his fury, but now he had made me happy enough that what I really wanted to do was stay. There really is no knowing what would happen between Eomer and me in any situation, and I hated the unpredictableness almost as much as I loved it. I somehow felt lighter now, I felt a new strength that would help me endure this journey. I was to be his wife _when_ I returned. His laugh brought me back from my thoughts.

'Say something, firebug,' he said. I smiled.

'Right,' I said, which caused him to laugh again, 'I am happy we fought through your stubbornness,' that earned another smile from him, and I smiled back, 'the prospects of marrying you will make this journey much more bearable,' I did not want to cry any more in front of him, so I fought back the tears as I continued.

'Do not worry too much about me, and I will try to do the same concerning you. Keep an eye on Olfete for me, please, and Ryce and Aldin - and Eowyn, they need you now more than ever - that is with what is going on and not just with my departure -' I was starting to ramble and I knew it. Eomer squeezed my hand.

'They will be fine, but I will do as you ask none the less,' he was searching for words and I realized this would probably be the longest we have ever spent apart. He was at bad as goodbyes as I was.

'Be watchful of your left when you are in close range battle, I know you prefer being on the right - as well as _in_ the right,' he added mumbling, 'but some situations will not allow that. I do not have to tell you how to use your bow, just please make sure to always have plentiful arrows, Sorrun, I can remember _several_ instances you did not and-'

'I was still young back then!'

'The last time was not so long ago, firebug,'

'Those were practice occasions,' I said softly. He moved his hand to touch my face, placing it on my cheek.

'I know,' there was only so much we could say in goodbye and we were running out of words quickly. I needed to leave now, now that I still had the courage.

'Please keep yourself safe, too. And don't worry too much - I will be in Rivendell soon and I will be safe there,' He nodded. We shared a moment of silence and I took that moment to take in all of his features one last time. The darkness still allowed me to see his blonde hair, his tanned skin, his beard, his worried eyes and his full lips pressed tightly together.

'I will come find you myself if you take too long to get back to me,' Eomer said, his voice filled with emotion. A clump formed in my throat again and I did not trust myself to say anything, so I just nodded. I swung my leg over Hefrics neck and adjusted my tunic. With one last look at Eomer I tapped Hefrics sides and he started walking. I felt Eomers eyes on me until I reached a path through the dense trees, but when I looked back I could not see him anymore.

My journey had started.


	9. Entwood

It had started getting light a little while ago and as I rode on, what had taken place a couple of hours ago really dawned on me and I was glad I could escape the Mark. Eomer and I had kissed intensely without paying attention to who was watching. As he had told me before, nearly everyone in the Mark knew of our love so it would not come as a shock to them, but to be kissing like _that_ outside of wedlock would cause quite the talk. I tried not to think about how long it would be before I saw him, or anyone else I knew, again. I felt lucky to have Hefric with me. I felt especially lucky I was not alone in the Entwood.

As I rode in, the trees grew darker and closer together and the sun was struggling to shine through. Children in the mark are told to not enter Entwood, as it is a forest many grown men had lost their way in and were never seen again. Strange things happened in this forest, strange sounds to be heard, roads changing unexplainably, no predatory animals to be seen, and sometimes it would feel like one was being watched. Theoden King advised it was best to just avoid going into the forest saying "the Entwood is not ours" and I never really was interested in it enough to ask to whom it did belong.

I sort of regretted that right now, as I felt like I was being watched and perhaps even followed. Had some orcs survived last night and followed me? It would be strange as orcs are not known to be trackers, and why would they bother following just one girl? Would there be any chance they knew where I was going? Or, another possibility, was I just being suspicious of anything and everything as this was my first journey through Entwood, knowing what I knew? Not being able to ask anyone these questions out loud made me realize how many questions I actually asked, and could understand it was fun for others to postpone the answers as long as possible. But now it was not fun for me. I felt I was getting scared and had to stop it from taking over. What would anyone advice me to do? I thought of Aldin, Ryce, Eowyn, and Eomer and they would all advice me to do a double-take and see if I was indeed being followed. Olfete would say I should push Hefric to go faster and outrun any possible stalkers. Theodred Prince would say to hide and wait and see.

The fear in me told me to listen to Olfete, but I did not want to give in to fear, not even having travelled a full day on my own yet. But I felt I was not brave enough to follow the warrior's advices of doubling back and facing any foe head-on. So I would follow Theodred's advice and decided two large trees that had grown together would do well to hide both me and Hefric - in no way was I going to dismount him as I might need to still outrun any possible opponent. As I brought Hefric to a halt behind the trees and we were moving no longer, I tried to listen intently to any sounds of movement. I heard nothing, not even birds or leaves rustling. I told myself to be patient and trust my instincts were true and not as suspicious as my mind was.

I do not know how long I waited, but when I did hear something, it did not come from where I thought it would.

"What are you doing?"


	10. Sharing

The voice came from behind me and could not have startled me more. I turned to the voice I recognized.

'What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing? Why are you here?' We were on eye level as he was on his horse and his look was puzzled.

'Oh no, you answer my question first.' he demanded.

'Mine is more important! Why are you here? Did Eomer send you?' I countered.

'Would that anger you?' he said.

'Do I not come across angry?' I was pretty sure I did.

'As a matter of fact, you do.'

'It was a rhetorical question, Ryce.' I almost rolled my eyes, almost.

'I came of my own volition. You need to learn to accept help and that you do not have to take all burdens on your own,' he said next. Now I did roll my eyes.

'That does not answer my question. _Did he send you after me?'_ He was silent for a moment.

'Yes - well, no. But, yes. Both, maybe.' what was I supposed to make of that? My expression must have screamed confusion as he continued, 'I saw you leave your tent and fetch Hefric. I am not an idiot, Sorrun, so I did the mathematics and followed you. I heard your conversation with Eomer and saw that little display of affection, so I must actually call him your betrothed,' he sounded angry. Why did he sound angered?

'Eomer knew I was in earshot and when you left, he came to me. Allow me to relay how that exact conversation went,' he cleared his throat theatrically all the while still seeming angry. At me, even.

'"You will follow her?" Eomer had asked, nay, he _tried_ to make it sound like a question, but I knew it was an order.  
"I intend to. You see I brought my horse," I had responded. It did in fact seem he had not noticed my horse. Eomer had looked at me questioningly, but I will give him credit for his ability to see through _anyone_ in a very short time period.

"You want to persuade her to come back with you." He had not asked this time, he stated it for the fact we both knew it was.

"Yes, but I had hoped you had not failed in that part. For if she does not listen to her betrothed, why on Arda would she listen to me?" It is not like you still tell me everything, or have ever done so!' Ryce said.

I thought I knew why he was angry, but I decided I would not interrupt him. Ryce rarely got angry and it was a bit terrifying really.

'"You are right, I failed. In my experience, Sorrun does not listen to anyone when she has set her mind on a matter," Eomer had then said. I think you might have broken the man, Sorrun, for I was sure he would draw his sword at me for saying he failed at a matter, especially a matter that concerned you. I thought he was fooling me.

"Why did she say she could not marry you?" I had asked him.

"I had intended to ask you that. I need to know," was Eomer's response and that baffled me. Not the part where Eomer _needed_ to know, because we both know he wants to know everything, even the simplest matter as a stone getting turned anywhere in the Mark, but I thought he would know, even if it seemed like he did not. For I cannot fathom, Sorrun, that there is something you have not told him nor me. But as I was looking at Eomer I realized he was not fooling me. So there indeed was a matter you chose to keep from him as well as me. Eomer seemed to realize that as well.

"What could she be hiding from the both of us? What is it that makes her resistant to confide in us?" Eomer had asked and I felt sorry for the man that I had no answer, but I felt hurt for myself. When I had seen you leave your tent I was determined to follow you and perhaps even talk some sense into you, but after seeing and hearing what I did, that determination altered to finding out what, in the name of the Gods, could be so important that you would turn down the love of your life, but not important enough to tell me? For I have told you everything, Sorrun, always I came to you first and there is nothing you do not know about me,' he ended. I saw his eyes were teary and felt mine were, too.

I had been afraid of this reaction, but had not expected it to come from Ryce. But I should have. He was right. He and I have always been close, always. He was the first to see the change in my affections for Eomer, from friendship to a crush to full-on in love. He was my go-to for when I had to lie to Olfete when we were younger, and I was his for his parents. I was the first one he allowed to know of his feelings for Aldin. I had helped him overcome his fear of swimming after he had almost drowned once, and he had saved my sorry butt by taking the blame when I had accidentally let loose all the stallions from the paddock, and they almost trampled me. I was still unconvinced Theoden King believed our story.

My mind started racing. My loyalty to my mother in keeping the secret for anyone was waning, I _wanted_ to confide in others, not only Olfete. I knew my secret would be safe with Ryce, but how would Eomer react if he knew that Ryce would know before him, when they found out about said secret around the same time? Would he be understanding? Could I convince Ryce to not let Eomer know that he knew? But Eomer knew of my friendship with Ryce, knew how deep our bond was. I had to trust he would not be upset about this.

'I thought with everything changing in Middle Earth, the fact that I could rely on you would not change. Not ever,' he said and it nearly made me cry. I had to swallow back the tears and clear my throat a couple of times before I could answer.

'Remember the daughter of the Steward that supposedly died? She did not,' I hesitated half a second, 'I am her, I am Saoirse. I did not die in my sleep when I was a babe, my mother conducted that lie to save my life. She send me away with Olfete to start anew in the Mark and joined us soon after she fabricated her own death. She would not allow her only daughter to live out the fate Denethor had in mind,' I said. I did not know the words I wanted to use until I said them and felt I had not explained it well enough. However, the look on Ryce's face went from hurt to surprise to confusion before he turned away and swallowed hard. Ryce was someone who let his emotions rule over his mind and as that was something he and I had in common, I thought I knew how he must be feeling right now.

'I am so sorry I have not told you before, Ryce. I truly am and I hope you will believe me. I had promised my mother I would not tell anyone and I have not, until now. You are still the first person to know this. The differences in Theoden King and Denethor Steward are great and so our people do not look kindly at Denethor, and I never felt comfortable sharing it while in the Mark. Olfete and I never talked about it outside the comforts of our home. There was never a time when I felt comfortable telling you, because I was not ready. That had nothing to do with you, you know I trust you with my life, Ryce. Please, feel no guilt right now, thinking you pushed me in telling you, because I would not have told you if I did not feel ready,' he looked up at me again, and even though the confusion was gone, the hurt was not. Neither was the guilt.

'I see. I sometimes forget we are not the same, and I should not blame you for it,' he said. His words were contradicting his tone and expression, but I knew he was working on it. It was a lot to take. I was not sure how to move past this right now, so I came up with an excuse. I knew he would bring up the secret again only when he was ready to talk about it more, so I did not push it. It worked better for me that way, too.

'I was planning on having a break. Will you join me?' I was not sure if he saw through me, but he nodded and dismounted Tordag. I guess this exact spot would do then.

/ / /

'What were you doing behind these trees?' he asked. I was nibbling down on a piece of bread and looked up at him. He was playing with a pear and did not look at me.

'I felt like I was being followed so I hid to see if I was right. I was,' I felt quite proud of myself, until I heard him chuckle. He looked at me and smiled.

'Indeed you were right, but that is not how you hide. You should dismount your horse, tie him up someplace else, preferable across from where you would be, and then hide. Best places would be up in trees or under cover of bushes, maybe even in the entrance of a cave if it is well hidden. I saw Hefrics butt from where I came, you were looking in the wrong direction,' oh, geez. He did not sound patronizing, but matter-of-factly. Like he was trying to teach me. I felt a burst of gratitude and I smiled at him.

'I must have looked really silly,' I said and then we both started laughing. I had hoped this bubble of happiness would last a little longer, like they used to after a rare fight between us, but these were dark times and so the seriousness returned quickly. We both sat down next to the trees, but not touching them as a small voice in my head reminded me to never touch the trees.

'I cannot go back without you, Sorrun. If he saw me empty handed I fear he would go berserk, thinking you had died already,' Ryce said.

'A little more faith in me from him would be nice,' I said dryly. This earned another chuckle.

'I am not turning back, Ryce. But you can join me, if you still wish,'

'If I might ask, why would you allow me to join you but not Eomer?' he asked.

'Eomer never asked me if he could join me, he was so occupied with me not going at all. I think that was never an option for him, it was just either him or me. I realize that might sound like I am blaming him for not offering, but I am not. I do not think I would have wanted him to, anyway. His position as third Marshall would not allow him,' I breathed in, 'I knew I did not need to ask you, as you would follow me instantly, but I could have made it clear in another way that I wanted you to join me, -'

'But you did not,' he interrupted me.

'Because I did not want you to. I did not wish for any of my friends to come on this journey with me just because _I_ felt _I_ needed to do this. I felt no need to drag anyone else in this. But when you said that I needed to learn to accept help and that I do not have to take all burdens on my own, I realized you were right and in not asking you to join me, I robbed you of making your own choice. So I am asking now, I hope it is not too late, because I would like your company, even if it seems like I do not,'

'Well, you are not exactly asking me no-' he started with a smirk.

'Oh for the love of the Gods. Ryce, will you join me to Rivendell and thereafter?'

'I thought you would never ask,' he said, a smug smile on his face.


	11. New names

I could tell we were good after that and I was happy he wanted to join me. I do not know how I had convinced myself I would have been fine on my own, as I was no good at pinpointing the starting point of an ambush nor was I able to hide myself, and, as it turned out, I was no good at directions, either.

'The route you took is leading you out of the Entwood. Was that on purpose?' I could lie…

'No, it was not. I thought I was going straight through,' I decided against lying. We had mounted our horses again and resumed the journey. Even though I was leading us on a detour.

'It might work out for the best. I feel trapped in these thick woods and would be happier out in the open, where we can actually see where we are going,' Ryce said.

'We must make haste to Rivendell, going out of Entwood might take longer,' I argued. He was silent for a bit.

'It might make no difference. The further we go into the woods, the harder it will be to determine if we're going North. The time we spent on figuring out if we are still on the right path could very possibly be as much as when we take a route outside of Entwood,' he said. It made sense. Thicker woods meant less sun and if we could not see where the sun shone, we could not see where it would rise or set, so we could not use that method to decide where the north is. We would have to rely on the moss on the trees, but I had never been good at that.

'Alright, we'll leave Entwood and make our way to the Anduin and follow it up. How does that sound?' I said. If we were going to journey together, we had to agree. He nodded approvingly.

'Excellent. How do you manage it?' he asked surprised.

'Manage what?'

'Messing up but finding a solution in the mess? It's a thing you excel at,' He laughed out loud. Here I was, thinking he would compliment me on thinking of the Anduin as a guide to the North, but at the same time, finding a way to insult me a little. Despite myself I laughed with him.

'It's a talent, really,' I said, smirking. Then I remembered something.  
'I want to follow the traveller. He - uh, his name is Boromir,' I waited for it to click and it took Ryce a while.

'You think he went through Entwood?' he asked.

'That would be a short route to reach Rivendell,' he was silent for a bit.

'We should continue as we agreed. Leave Entwood. I do not think he would last long in these woods, so he probably will avoid them. Our biggest chance of finding him would be close to the river,' Ryce said. I could not read his expression at all.

/ / /

It did not take us many days to reach the end of Entwood, I guessed I had set out in the wrong direction to begin with. The air felt less thick and sounds of animal life were returning. I could even see some open land behind the treeline.

'How long do you reckon until we reach Limlight?' it was a small river that eventually flows into the Anduin and we would have to cross it, as I knew there was no bridge. Even though Ryce was a good swimmer now, I knew he would rather avoid it.

'Depends. If we wish to decrease the changes of any delay, we ride day and night and reach it in two nights. If not, four. I would rather make haste. The open fields of the Wold might not be as safe as we hope it to be,' he was right again.

'Alright, on we go, then,' I agreed.

There was a question burning inside me and I could no longer hold it in.

'How did Aldin take your leave?' I asked. His good mood vanished, but his displeasure was not directed towards me.

'I had no time to tell him as I was afraid I had lost enough time with Eomer and did not know what to do if I could not find you. Your trail is hard to track,' Triumphantly I looked at Hefrics backside, where his tail was swooshing around happily. Hefrics tail was very thick and bushy and consisted of a lot of hairs that reached the ground, being a Friesian horse. Sometimes it was necessary for messengers to travel without being tracked so they would train their horses to swoosh their tail on the ground a lot, erasing any hoofprints. This would only work if the horse would not have to go faster than a trot and if the soil was not wet. Suffice to say it does not always work. It could be quite challenging in forests, too, as branches could break and leaves could crush, but a well trained messenger horse would have secure footing, looking for patches with only dirt and the occasional branch, all the while swooping its tail for leaves to fall and cover up any traces. For now I felt Hefric's long tail would come in use, but I might have to trim it when the need arises to travel faster or if it seemed as if we would be in battle, as his tail could hinder Hefric then.

It took me that long to realize what Ryce had actually said just now.

'You have not said goodbye to Aldin?' that surprised me.

'I had to make a choice. Quickly,' he said. I looked over at him but he was looking ahead.

'The last time you chose me over him did not go so well, Ryce. I am not more important than your-' he interrupted me.

'You are equal. I share things with you I cannot with him, and I share things with him that I cannot with you. He knows that, I know you know that and I know you do not agree,' we have had this discussion before and I still had the same opinion.

'Indeed! How can I be the equal of the man you love?'

'Simple. I love you, too,'

'Romantically!'

'You are not going to say it back?' from his profile I could see he was holding back a smirk. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

'One of these days… I love you as well, Ryce, but not the same as I love Eomer,' at this he looked at me.

'That is fine. You treat me no different than him, except for the recent snogging. I have never noticed any difference in your behaviour towards me after you found out you loved him. That is how I know Eomer and I are equal, even if you do not see it so,' it bugged me to no end that he could formulate his thoughts so effortlessly. It would have taken me three days to come up with an answer like that.

'Why would I treat you different after I fell in love? That would make no sense. What I mean to say is, if we were in battle and I was attacked at the same time as Aldin and only you could save only one, who would you chose? I am not trying to provoke you, I am only trying to make you understand my definition of equals,'

'Do not ask me something you could not answer, either.'

'What do you mean?'

'You cannot convince me that you would be able to chose. You would find a way to sacrifice yourself, as would I. I would not choose, nor would you,' I bit my lip, he was right.

'Okay. How about this. Aldin and I both love honey bread. If there was only one piece of honey bread left in the whole of Middle Earth, and it was yours, but Aldin and I both wanted it, who would you give it to?' he laughed out loud.

'I fear that day will once come. But, it is simple. I would share it between you two,' I grunted, 'it is no battle, Sorrun. Like I said before, I might sometimes forget we are not the same person, but it is a fact nonetheless. That I see you and Aldin as equals and Eomer and I as equals, that does not mean _you_ have to share that opinion. I do not expect it from you nor do I blame you that you clearly do not agree,' he took a bite of his pear and I pondered what he said in silence. Before I could make up my mind on what I wanted to say, he started talking again.

'I think it would be a good idea for us to set some secret phrases we could use to warn another, if it is not safe to directly say it. Back at camp you were slow to catch up on what was happening, before the attack,' he said. Again, his tone was not patronizing but I felt a flush creep up on my cheeks nonetheless. I still had so much to learn, but was eager to. So I nodded.

'First off, another name. I will go by Raeza,' he said. A third name, should be fun. Raeza was not a Rohirric name, but I did not know where it did hail from.

'How about Ariadne?' he said. I let out a very womanly snort.

'Ariadne? Most holy? You must be joking,' I said.

'I was. Odile then?' where was he getting these names? They were not Rohirric.

'Odile?' I asked

'It means she who prospers in battle,' he was not amused by my amusement. He was very serious, but I started giggling.

'Ah, yes. I prosper in battle. It suits me indeed,' my tone could not have been more sarcastic, but Ryce either chose to ignore it or was oblivious to it.

'You choose your battles. I like it. Dilly for short,' I raised an eyebrow.

'You must remember when we were younger and you thought it was a good idea to shorten my name,' I said dryly.

'You were Sorry a lot,' he said, smirking.

'Don't go there again,' I warned.

'Why? You never Run away for anything,' I did not respond, 'except for Runny bowel movements,' he burst out in laughing at his own jokes. I was reliving my childhood and all my 'friends' that enjoyed making up jokes and puns from my name. He stopped laughing after a bit.

'What does Saoirse mean?'

'Freedom,' I said. At this he looked up at me.

'Fitting,' he said. There was no change in his mood, he still seemed chipper to me, so we were making more progress on the whole I-am-secretly-the-daughter-of-a-disliked-Steward thing.

'Odile it is, then. Let us continue now and figure out the secret phrases and codes while riding,' I said and he nodded before standing up and gathering his things.


	12. Silly questions

Being outside of civilisation for a longer period of time was a strange thing. It affected me in ways I was unaware of, like the passing time. I had no idea how many days had passed exactly after I had left the Mark, but it had to be more than nine, because that was when I had lost count. Or was it eight? As Ryce and I were outside of the Entwood I felt more at ease, so we did not talk as much as we did back in the forest. Even in the forest we did not talk a lot, because Ryce thought it important I learned how to listen to my surroundings.

Everyone who knew me, knew I talked a lot. Mostly asking questions, always wanting to know the _why_ and _how_. I thought that was why I did not have many friends, because they mistook my curiosity for mistrust. Or it was because they just thought I was annoying, I wasn't sure. But now, as my surroundings were so different from the ones I was used to at home, I felt more confident I was able to observe instead of ask. Also, I was afraid I was annoying Ryce as I asked him why owls were able to turn their heads the way they did. I knew of no other animals than owls that were able to do that.

'Maybe they have been blessed by the Gods to turn away from owls that look at them unnecessarily often,' after that I stopped asking, understanding the metaphor.

I was also still adapting to the new way of life that involved finding my own food. Back home we had hunters for meat, gardens filled with fruits and vegetables, and our streets were filled with chickens so there were enough eggs for everyone. Of course, these had to be bought or traded at the market, but usually Odile did that, because I was too busy training with Eowyn or gone with the riders. I wished I had paid more attention to how we got our food on a ride out, because the further away we went, the less edible things I recognized.

'We have been gone a fortnight now,' Ryce suddenly said. I told myself I would write this down later and start keeping track of the days on a piece of paper. We had reached Limlight a couple of days ago and we were riding alongside it as Ryce was searching for the best point for us to ride across it. I had not yet thought of a response, because I did not know what direction the conversation would take, before he continued.

'Meaning it has been fifteen days since Boromir was in Rohan. He has had only two day's head start, and even though we had a little set back,' I imagined he referred to the orc attack, 'I am convinced we have made up that lost time with our haste. Yet, we have not found him yet nor have I seen any trace of him, to be honest,' I had the feeling he was building up to something and I wish he would just say it. 'I had hoped we would have had a possibility to cross the river, because I thought that was what he would have done. Now I think differently. I think we need to change plans again,' he said. He was silent for a bit.

And a bit longer.  
Then I realized he expected me to say something. I was still getting used to being a part of this mission, instead of just _following_ the mission. So I quickly changed my nodding in understanding to frowning in a thoughtful manner before I responded.  
'You think if there was an easy cross-over point, we would have found it by now. I do not remember any bridges marked on any maps,' as I said it I felt his eyes burning on me. I casted my own down, realizing he had expected me to have come to this conclusion earlier.  
'So you think Boromir did not take this route. You think Boromir did not go to the Entwood at all,' he nodded approvingly, so I continued, 'you think he crossed the Entwash and crossed the Anduin closer to Edoras, where the passage is easier because of the trade routes,' it made perfect sense, I had to admit, and I felt stupid for not realizing it before.

'And now we have lost some of our initial speed as we slowed down beside Limlight in search for a point to cross. We should make haste to where Limlight flows into the Anduin,' he nodded approvingly again and the uneasiness I felt in my stomach started to fade.

'Good, and haste we shall make,' he said before he pushed Tordag into a gallop. I sighed - my behind really no longer agreed to be in this saddle any more, and then followed suit.

/ / /

Ryce had ridden these parts of the Wold before but I had not and I was thankful for it, because it meant I got to take it in for the first time. Even though we were riding hard, it was still easy to see the beauty of these uninhabited parts of Rohan. Of course, we saw the casual traveller here and there, but I needed no reminder from Ryce that it was better if we did not stray nor linger. Except for the occasional break - and with occasional, I mean _occasional_ , sometimes we would go more than half a day without, we rode on. As Ryce slowed down I was beginning to thank the Gods for the upcoming break, but then I saw his face.  
'It looks like there are a lot of people up ahead, coming our way. A lot of people might be harder to ignore than just a small group, especially if there are people that recognize us,' Ryce said. I squinted my eyes and indeed, I could see a big moving blur. My eyesight really was way worse than Ryce's. I looked around. We were very close to the Anduin now, so there was more greenery, more trees, more bushes. More places to hide. To my right I saw a hill that had several trees strewn across it with bushes here and here and some rocks. I motioned my head towards it.  
'Let's wait there while they pass. We could do with a break and then ride late into the night. I think our horses would thank us for it,' he smiled.

'Since when do you refer to yourself as 'horse'?' he laughed and despite myself I let out a semi-sarcastic ha-ha, before he continued, 'but yes, let's do that,'

/ / /

'Why do you think rocks in water feel so different from rocks on land?' I asked as I laid down the berries I collected on one of the rocks beside me. I could almost _feel_ Ryce roll his eyes. We were sitting behind a rock that was next to a bush. It provided enough cover for the passing travellers we had seen before. I had fallen back into my old habits before I knew it and the question escaped me before I knew it.

'Maybe rocks are actually soft, but harden when touched. In the water they're always touched by water, so when they tense up then, they already are a bit softer,' he said. I dropped one of my berries.

'I can't tell if you are being serious or not,' I said while I was thinking about what he had said. He smiled.

'I know. It is how I am coping with your constant desire to ask me anything that pops into your head,'

'By leaving me with more questions?' I said and I popped a berry into my mouth as I tried not to smirk when realisation hit him. He looked horrified. I started laughing and had to be careful not to fall in a fit. I calmed down and threw another berry in the air that I caught in my mouth.

'I made that up. I have no idea why rocks feel different. I do not think _anyone_ knows,' he said.

'So why do you get angry at me for voicing a thought anyone might have? It is something people could bond over,' he gave me a dry look.

'Because you also ask why brown is brown and not yellow. Some things just are, Dilly,' as he grabbed a berry, I remembered the fake names we had given ourselves and that I was to call him Raeza at all times, even when it appeared that we were alone. One could never be too careful. As he had said it like that, I realized how similar "dilly" sounded as "silly" and I was about to say something about that when Ryce pushed me aside to grab more berries.

'You can just ask for more berries, Raeza,' Raeza just sounded familiar to Ryce. It was unfair. But his attention was not on me, and then, so suddenly I did not even know it had happened, _he_ was practically on me.

'How many of these have you had?' he demanded. He sounded… off.

'I don't know! A couple when I collected them, a couple as I brushed Hefric down, and then a couple as I sat down here,'

'Make yourself throw up,' I blinked. I almost laughed, but he was dead serious.

'Sorrun, if you do not, you will start to bleed inside and then there is nothi- just throw up!' he said. He did not just sound off, he sounded afraid. See, I knew there was a reason I hated it when people use your name, it is because they are always so serious in what they say - otherwise Ryce would not have forgotten to call me Odile.

It took me that long to realize what he had said. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach as I understood what he had said.

'I do not know how!' I almost screamed. I knew some people could make themselves throw up by sticking their fingers so far in their mouth that they touched their throat, but it never worked when I tried it. Well, I only tried it once, but as I said, it did not work.

'You do not - oh Valar, forgive me,' he said before he pulled me forwards by my shoulder, opened my mouth with his one hand and then stuck his fingers in my throat.

Before I knew it, my the contents of my stomach were out and about on the rocks. There had been no time to protest, because the smell that came from his hand was almost enough to do the trick.

'Wh- whuat w- was thut sme-ell?' I cried out. I was seeing horrific images from where his hands had been, and I was trying to recall the last time I saw him wash himself. I was coughing and tears pricked my eyes as my nose started to run.

'I did not quite catch that. What?' he asked. To my surprise, as I glanced over at his hands, they were not very dirty - as far as I could see.

'What is that smell!'

'That's what the inside of those berries smell like. I squashed one when I was suspicious of their colour. Tell me when you are feeling a bit better, which will not be for a while, but then I can reprimand you,' he said, 'and eat this bread. Try to chew as little as possible, and then you need to throw up again. It will soak up the last bits of berry in your stomach. No no -' he grabbed the waterskin from my hands, 'do not drink yet. Eat the bread,' I did as I was told while being confused about the whole situation. Before he had stuck his fingers in my throat I had felt fine. Now I was feeling terrible. I felt little drops of sweat on my upper lip and temples and it felt like my stomach had sunken to my feet. I tried to eat the bread, but I was afraid that it would get stuck in my throat as Ryce had told me not to chew too much. The big chunks of bread felt like lead in my stomach and was it just me or was this wind that started to blow really hot?

When I had finally eaten all the bread, Ryce looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I looked at him in shock.

'I thought you were joking. As a part of the reprimanding,'

'I was not. Open up,' the idea that he was enjoying this was beginning to form in my head, but I did what I was told anyway. Once I had lost the bread I felt a whole lot better.

'Have you ever eaten red berries before?' he asked. And so the telling-off began. At one point he started to sound so much like Eomer that I felt a pang of heartache.

'I did not think they would dissolve my insides, okay!' I said, I felt defeated.

'Just ask if you're not sure!' he shouted back. And so my anger flared up again.

'I don't want to always have to depend on questions!' I shouted back.

'Apparently you still do!'

'Then answer my questions when I ask you something!'

'Then stop asking why a saddlebag has so many pockets, or how a waterskin came to be a waterskin or _why rain does not come pouring down all at once but in little drops!'_

I had never asked that last question, and I was baffled. We looked at each other and we burst out laughing without a warning. It felt so good to laugh like this, because it had been a long time either of us had really let ourselves go. I think even Ryce rejoiced in the moment, letting go of his guard, even just for a little while. I was aware my stomach was still upset so this fit was not helping, but I did not mind. I saw tears streaming down his cheeks, which caused me to laugh even harder.

And then I saw that the travellers were not going the same direction anymore, but were coming our way. Our laughter must have attracted them.

And then I saw they were not just travellers.

They were orcs.

In broad daylight.


	13. A memory

Ryce's laughter had turned to soft chuckles before I poked him in his rib cage and shushed him.

'Look,' I mouthed as I pointed over the rock behind our backs, in the direction of the orcs. His face changed expression within a moment and he pushed me further down behind the rock, even though I knew I was not visible on the other side. He ducked down, too, and I saw him figuring out the odds of two against at least twenty orcs. I knew what he would decide before he even confirmed it, as it was folly to think him and I would be able to defeat them. We would run. He looked at me as he made a fist, index finger pointed up as he made circles from his wrist. That was code for get to your horse but do not mount, leave behind what is not strapped to your saddle, and stay hidden best as you can. Despite the situation I was proud I was able to remember all that and was thankful we had taken the time to teach me these codes. I nodded, thanked myself for not having taken anything from my saddle, and then thanked Bema for the fact that the horses were in a small gap in the hill that could not be seen because of the trees, rocks, and bushes in front of it. This was actually a very good place for an ambush, I thought, if only we were not alone.

I knew we had to hurry as the band of orcs was coming closer, but they were still a little bit away. Hopefully they were confused the sounds that had attracted them had stopped, but that could have also made them suspicious. Ryce had let me go first and very faintly I could hear their heavy footsteps coming closer. As we made our way into the dent in the hill, I took Hefric's reigns and tugged them softly so he would follow, which he did, _thank Bema._ I told myself I would thank his previous master for having done an excellent job in training Hefric.

I wondered when it would be safe enough for us to start riding, because I had not seen any horses with the orcs, but they might have arrows to shoot and my heart sank. As we left the gap in the hill, I looked back at Ryce and he held his hand flat up, meaning I had to wait. He looked back at the hill, and I do not know what he saw, but he motioned me to continue faster. Just as I was picking up my pace, he made a fist twice, meaning I had to get on Hefric and ride hard. I put my food in the strap, kicked Hefric twice so he would speed up, and swung my other leg over. I grabbed the reins close to Hefric's neck and made myself as small as I possibly could while still being able to stay balanced on my horse. From the corner of my eye I saw Ryce had done the same, and we were off.

It did not take long before I heard the displeased grunts and shouts behind me, but I felt no relief yet, still anticipating the possible arrows they could send our way. Their short legs could not possibly catch up to the speed of our Rohirric horses, so I was positive they would not chase us. Then I heard the first _swoosh_ of an arrow, but I told myself not to look where it went, I told myself to keep looking ahead, as Ryce had told me to do if I was ever in this kind of situation. Once again I chastised myself for thinking I could have managed on my own. Three or four more arrows were being released at us, but soon we were too far away. Their bows were short and the strings too knotted, not made for a true long distance shot.

Our horses were going fast in their sprint, unnecessarily fast in my opinion as we had put quite the distance between them and us, but Ryce did nothing to imply we could slow down. I allowed myself to straighten up a bit and peeked behind me. No one was chasing us. They were just little black blips in the distance.

'Ryce, we can go slower now,' I said. He did not respond.

'Ryce?' I looked over and saw he was still looking ahead, hunched over Tordag, with a strange look on his face, one I could not quite place. Immediately I went stone cold. Had he been hit by an arrow?

'Ryce!' I shouted. He jerked up, as if he were roughly awakened and he looked over at me. His expression was blank for about two seconds, and then the same determined look returned he had had when he had been giving me orders only minutes ago.

'Are you hurt?' I asked, steering Hefric closer to Tordag, because I could not see anything from where I was.

'What?'

'Are you hurt?' I asked again. He slowed Tordag down so I did the same; he went to sit up right and I bend forward so I could see his front. I saw nothing, so I leaned backwards to look at his back and saw nothing. There was nothing sticking out of his legs, either.

'No, are you?' I was getting annoyed.

'No! Why on Arda did you seem so… so… out of it?' I felt that did not describe his state of moments before correctly, but I did not know how else to describe it.

'I… I-uh,' he cast his eyes down, 'I had not seen them. I was reckless. It could have gone very wrong,' _Really._  
'But I saw them. On time. We made it out fine. Nothing happened, we still have all our possessions, our horses, we are both unhurt. Do not be so hard on yourself, Ry,' he seemed to think about this.

'Yes. You have handled well. However, this was a harsh reminder we should always be vigilant,' he was right about that, of course. I felt a rush of happiness as he complimented me that I had handled well.  
'I thank you,' he said softly. I looked over at him, surprised. No one had ever said that to me before. Then again, I had never saved someone's life before. Up until that moment I had not realized I had actually saved our lives.  
'I see you,' I said, following our Rohirric tradition of showing understanding of what had just passed: it meant we showed each other gratitude and respect, that it was no small thing to be saved from death nor to save someone from death. It was one of my favourite customs. I had been saved before, and as we rode on the last plains of the Wold until we reached the Anduin, I thought back at one of the times Eomer had saved mine.

/ / /

 _Memory  
_  
'I do not want to do that!' I said fiercely.  
'My dear, if I had not done the things I did not want to do, I would not have been able to give you all my wise advice over the years,' Olfete responded, quite happy with herself. I sighed, what was that supposed to mean?

'I am not planning on giving my daughter unwelcome advice. I will not do it and that is my final answer,' I was looking at myself in the looking glass and almost felt repulsed at my own reflection staring back at me.

'That is because you are still without children. And you are not of age yet, so I dare say I have the final answer. You _will_ wear that to the Yule festivities. You can change into whatever you like for the evening meal,' I let out a harsh grunt and closed my eyes and clenched my jaw before I looked at myself again. I was wearing a _dress_. To the Yule festivities. The hunt that takes place before the evening meal, and whatever was hunted and taken back to Meduseld would be the evening dinner. Olfete ordering me to wear a dress was her not so subtle way of telling me I was not going to participate in the hunt. And because I was not yet of age, I had to _listen._ I grunted again.

'I would wager Eowyn gets to participate,' I said.

'That is not up to me. Now allow me to braid your hair, so sit down,' I sighed in my defeat. I sat down in front of the fireplace, which was burning up its last bits of wood as it was early in the morning. _Too early in the morning_ , I thought, and now I actually got up for nothing. Not participating in the hunt meant that I had to go on the water to fish. I would smell like fish for the entire day.

As Olfete was braiding my hair, I was calming down a bit. The intricate pattern of braids she was making felt very calming and I knew it would look beautiful once it was done. I looked down at my dress and saw for the first time how beautiful it was. I was not yet of age, but I would be next year, so this would be my last year as a girl. I should have known Olfete would have wanted to pull out every trick she knew to make it memorable. Little did I know exactly _how_ memorable it would be.

My dress was a deep red and it fell wide around my hips as Olfete had made sure to put enough padding beneath it. The bodice was the same colour, except for the lace pattern of dark green flowers, almost making it look like a flower bed of roses. The sleeves were of the same lace material in the same floral pattern.

In Rohan, a girl coming of age was not one big celebration day, but the year leading up to it was. That was the time people would start paying attention to the girl, to see how she grew up to be. When I was younger I used to mock the ways of Gondor, because how much could a girl show in one day in comparison to a whole year? But I had felt the pressure at every opportunity Olfete had taken to pride me. Now I felt a strange sense of confidence. Probably because Yule was one of the very few occasions for us to really dress up. Nobody seemed to think about the impracticality of fishing in a beautiful gown, but at least I would look graceful when I pulled a fish out of the water.

Slowly everyone was arriving at the Small lake. In my opinion it was not that small, but it was not big enough to be included on our maps and so everyone called it the Small lake. It was frozen all over, except for several patches that had been broken open during the night, where the fishing would take place. There was a rock formation at one side of the lake that bowed over the lake, and so we liked to call it the Bowing rock. When I was a little girl, Háma used to tell me and all the other young children about how the lake and the rock had been falling in love over the years as the Gods created the Mark. The rock was courting the lake, but the mountains were jealous of their love and so froze the rock to stop it from growing closer to the lake, making the rock forever bow to the lake. It had always been my favourite story and many of our songs included this magical tale.

I hugged my wolf fur tighter around me as a cool breeze swept through the air as I was very much focussed on looking for Eomer. I wanted to wish him luck on the hunt and I wanted to see his reaction on my gown. I had a feeling he would start courting me as soon as I came of age, and while I was still getting used to that idea and all the implications that came with it, my heart could not help but flutter at the idea.

'Well, well, well, look who cleans up very nicely if she puts her mind to it!' came from behind me. I turned around and smiled broadly at Aldin, he had been away to deliver horses to the training fields and I was worried he might not make it back in time.

'Aldin, you made it!' I said. Then I wanted to run to him to give him a hug, but I had not quite figured out how one runs in a _tent_ , so I must have looked rather silly as I made my way to him, sort of running, sort of tumbling.

'There are no excuses to miss Yule. And now I am even more grateful that I made it, because I will thoroughly enjoy watching you handling fish while maintaining your grace in that dress. I must find Ryce, I have a wager in mind,' he said and he left.

I almost felt hurt as he hurriedly took his leave, but then realized that even though he had missed me, he must have missed Ryce more. As I watched him leave, I felt someone had come to stand close behind me.

'How come I always hear them wager something that includes you? It is never about whether or not it is going to storm, or if a filly will be good enough for breeding at the proper age' _Eomer._ I did not turn around, not yet.  
'Don't be silly. They would never wager about horses,' I said.

'Indeed, at least they possess some sense regarding horses. What are you wearing?' He sounded confused.

'Never seen a dress before?' I said and as I turned towards him, I made sure that my fur fell a bit from my shoulders, while keeping it in place with my arms. I looked up at him and saw him staring back.

'I- have. Of course I have,' twice he looked me up and down fast, and then he grabbed my fur. _Wha-_

'You'll get a cold if you wear your fur like that,' he said briskly as he pulled it over my shoulders again. I felt a blush creeping up in my embarrassment as I had thought and hoped this conversation would have gone in another direction, so I quickly looked away.

'Yes, of course,' it was silent for a moment, so I added, 'are you ready for the hunt?'

'I am. Hopefully we will find a boar. Those are always fun to hunt,' he said. I wanted to agree, they were quite challenging to catch or so I had been told, but what did I know about it, really? I decided I would catch a boar next year.

'I hear you are to tend to the fishing. I trust there will be plenty caught,' he said.

'Oh, yes. Fishing. There is nothing quite like it,' I said and I realized I sounded bitter. He laughed out loud, so I turned to look at him again. The sun was shining from behind me and it lit up his eyes in an almost magical way. I forgot what I had been thinking about.

'What is it?' he asked, those eyes staring into mine.

'Your eyes, they are-'

'Sorrun, you need to get to the boats. They are about to leave,' Olfete said. _Where had she come from?_ The magic was broken, I felt myself getting red and I had never before been more thankful for Olfete to appear than I was at that moment.

'Do good,' I said, the traditional way of wishing someone luck before a hunt. I did not wait for his response as I quickly turned around and made my way to the lake. _Was I really about to admit that his eyes looked like molten gold in a sea of blue? One of these days I-_

'Sorrun!' Eomer shouted after me. _Oh no_. I stopped, but did not turn around.

'Allow me to walk you,' he said, folding my arm in his, 'you were saying something about my eyes,' _the sheer audacity…_

'Was I? I do not remember,' I was hoping I had lost the redness in my face.

'No? Pity. However, it reminded me I have yet to say something about your dress,' he said.

'You do? I thought you already did,' I responded.

'Did I? What did I say?' He asked.

'That you have seen dresses before,' I said and he laughed and it sounded genuinely happy.

'I did say that. What I should have said was that you look mesmerizing,' my breath got caught in my throat and I think I made a small miss step, as he had suddenly placed his hand over mine to steady me.

'Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself,' and he did, because the hunters wore different armour than usual. This was the armour worn at special occasions. Only then did I notice the fabric in his was also dark red, and his armour pieces black. His hair also had braids and was half-up in a bun. He looked more than handsome, but that was not appropriate for me to say out loud. We had arrived at the lake and I saw all the boats were already dragged to the open patches. I was supposed to help with that, but as I thought about it, how would I have managed that in my dress? Really, coming of age was not a practical matter. Eomer stopped walking and so did I.

'Good luck,' he said, 'maybe we could share a fish tonight,' he said and he walked away. I was frozen where I stood. Surely he did not know that sharing a fish is a custom in Gondor, saved only for betrothed? I shook my head and slowly stepped on the ice, trying to find a boat that was unoccupied. I could not bring myself to socialize after what had just passed.

/ / /

Unaware how much time had passed exactly, I was growing impatient. I had not caught a single fish. Not one. The water beneath my boat did not even _stir_. It was smooth and dark. Never in my life had I been so bored. From afar I had heard the shouts from the hunters, but now it was getting quiet and I could see people returning. I felt myself losing interest in trying to catch anything as it was not working out anyway. Luckily I was okay with losing and I had told myself it would be a source of joy and laughter for my friends when they learned that at my last fishing festivity, I had caught nothing. So I let my mind wander and I imagined myself to be amongst the hunters. I looked over the lake and thought about catching a wild boar.

All of a sudden, the horn that signalled the end was blown and I startled. I looked around me and saw my boat had drifted far away from the edge of the ice and I cursed myself for not paying more attention. I took the oars and made my way to the ice. I was cold through and through, despite my warm wolf fur. As I was parallel to the ice with my boat, I set foot on it and heard it crack much louder than was usual.

For a split second I thought about getting on the ice at another part, but it was too late: the ice broke beneath me and as my full weight was on that foot, I fell forward and fell with my face on the ice. _Nice._ I felt blood running down my nose. _Very nice_. Then I heard the ice beneath me protest against this sudden weight and I stayed very still. I could very well be in a lot of trouble. My feet suddenly felt very cold and I realized a part of me must already be in the water. I _was_ in trouble. I firmly told myself not to panic.

I tried to see where the others were with their boats, but I faced the wrong direction: everyone was behind me. Another crack came and this one was louder than the others. As I realized this, I knew I had to slowly push myself forward, even if it meant going further away from the shore. Ever so slowly I pulled myself forward with my arms, not using my legs, and the ice made its protests beneath me. I felt the ice under my legs become more solid, but I kept pushing myself forward. I had to be certain the ice would be strong enough before I stood up. I pushed a few more feet and started softly kicking the ice with my feet, it felt solid. I tasted blood in my mouth and my teeth would not stop clattering.

'Sorrun!' I heard Eowyn shout behind me.

'Yes!' I shouted back. My voice did not sound as my own, it sounded lower and hoarser.

'Are you alright?' she asked.

'Peachy! Can you help?'

'Do not move!' that was not Eowyn. That was Eomer. Immediately I froze and suddenly the cold was overwhelming. I could not feel my feet any longer. I could not stay here. So I inched forward and the ice did not protest anymore. I saw this as a sign of solidness, so slowly I stood up.

'I said not to move, Sorrun!' He shouted. I was standing now, and nothing happened. So I slowly turned around to face him.

'It's too cold to stay down there. The ice is fine now,' I said, although I was not sure they heard me. They were also on the ice and not too far away, but my voice did not carry far.

'Move slowly, inch by inch,' Eomer instructed me.

'I know how to walk on thin ice, thank you very mu-' a loud crack, and then I felt my body go cold from my feet up to my head and everything around me was dark. I looked up and saw where I had fallen through, but I felt so heavy and I felt myself going down. _Do not panic_ , I told myself again.

I was trying to swim up towards the light, but my fur was too heavy so I unclasped it. The loss of the weight was helping, but it was still almost impossible for me to swim up. The light above me started to blur and I thought I was sinking further. It was so silent here. The coldness around me felt like thorns pricking my skin and my lungs started to burn. _Hold your breath_. I needed to lose more weight, so I tried to take my dress off, but my fingers would not move the way I wanted them to and I could not untie the laces at my front. It was so cold, so silent. My lungs burned. I could not feel my body. I was sinking. I tried to look up and saw the light had gone.

Cold. Burning. Silence. Darkness.

I could not think of anything to do that would help me go up.

I closed my eyes and breathed in, coughed, breathed in more water.

I lost my thoughts, only felt burning, silence, darkness.

It was not that cold anymore.

Somewhere I felt a warmth on my arm, and then the light above me returned. I felt more warmth on my arms and I started hearing noises. The light was getting so bright now it almost hurt. Then my face felt colder, and the noises became sounds I recognized as voices, and I felt air instead of water and so I started coughing immediately. I could not stop and my lungs were protesting but also taking in big gulps of air. The voices around me were overwhelming after being in that deafening silence. Someone was tugging at my clothes.

'Get a horse ready,' someone shouted.

'Is there another fur?' I could not place the voices, not yet.

'She needs to get out of those clothes first,'

'We need to get off the ice first,' I thought I heard at least two different people talking.

'Eomer, get the horse,'

'But-'

'She needs to get out off those clothes! Hurry,' was it Eowyn? More tugging at my clothes, but I felt myself drifting off.

'Stay awake, darling,' Olfete? I did not want to stay awake. I suddenly felt the relief of losing an immense weight, but then it was replaced by another.

'Sorrun, say something,'Eowyn? I could not say anything. Everything that was happening was a blur. I did not know if I was laying down, or standing, or sitting. I did not know where I was. I felt tired. Somehow it felt like everything around me was moving.

'Almost there, stay awake,'

'I lost fur,' I mumbled.

'What?' someone responded. Who was that? It sounded close to my ear.

'Fur. My mother's. Lost,'

'Do not worry about that now,' _Who was that?_ I felt so sleepy. More noises came and I felt myself being hoisted up.

'I'll take her,'

'No, you will not. I will,'

'Eowyn, please,'

'There is no time, Eomer! You know as well as I do it will not do. Ride with me, Aldin brought Firefoot too,' Someone tugged at the furs around me and I started to feel cold again, there was wind in my face. It felt like I was waking up, so to say.

'Eowyn,' I said. I was finally able to use my eyes again and saw I was on Windfola in front of Eowyn. I was covered in at least two furs and saw I was wearing a shirt and leggins underneath, they were way too big. Not mine.

'You are going to be fine,' she said. I looked over and saw Eomer riding beside us.

'Did you catch a boar?' I asked. My voice sounded so strange.

'Theodred did. I caught several birds and a wolf,' his voice was soothing.

'Tell me about the hunt,' I wanted to hear his voice more. And so he did, he was an amazing story teller. The tiredness faded slowly and I was getting warmer.

By the time we reached Edoras I had stopped clattering my teeth and I could move my fingers again. I was rushed to the houses of healing, Eomer and Eowyn were ushered away and Olfete had stayed by my side. She told me Theoden King was the one who had carried me back to land and I had to process that for a while. It explained the voice I had not recognized. The Healer told me I would be fine if I took my rest and slept on my side tonight, in case of any water that might still be in my lungs. I was not to be left alone. I had to take my dinner here, but if I felt better later on I was allowed to join the festivities after the meal in Meduseld. I did not want to go there and I did not think they would make me. I did not want to face anyone. I closed my eyes for a bit, trying not to think about what my friends would say.

I had dozed off and was waking up because I heard voices.

'You should go back to the hall, you are expected there,' Olfete said.

'I will go after I made sure she is okay,'

'She is. I told you. She needs rest,'

'Eomer,' I said. I did not want Olfete to send him away. Apparently there was someone I wanted to see, after all. He looked at me and was visibly relieved. He walked over and stopped by the side of the bed. I was under a pile of furs and was pretty sure only my face was visible. I wondered if he was fighting the urge to laugh. I could not read his expression.

'I will be back in a bit,' Olfete said, there were Healers around, which is why I thought Olfete was okay with leaving us "alone". I was waiting for Eomer to say something, but he did not.  
'Are you alright?' I asked. He sat down on the chair next to my bed. Somehow he still towered over me.

'I thought I told you not to move,' he said. I swallowed.

'You did,'

'So tell me, why _did_ you?' he sounded angry. I swallowed again.

'I was cold and I thought the ice was steady where I stood up,' it still made sense to me.

'Clearly it was not. You should have listened to me and waited -' he started, but I interrupted him.

'Until you reached me so we both could have fallen through the ice? Then Theoden King would have had to pull us both out!' I felt my anger flare up as I sat upright.

'Theoden King pulled you out now, did he? That is strange. I thought _I_ was the one who jumped into the water to pull you up and out. I must have been mistaken,' _oh_. I realised my mouth had fallen open and I quickly shut it. My anger had gone. His had not.

'I thank you,' I quickly said. He did not respond for a long moment and I started to fear he would reject me.

'I see you,' he finally said, but in a tone I could not quite place. Was it regret?

'Why did you not fight?' he asked.

'What do you mean?' I asked, confused.

'You had sunken deep into the water and you were not moving,' Well, this was not the conversation I had hoped to have with him right now.

'I did fight. I had taken the fur off and was trying to undo my dress as it was terribly heavy,'

'Why did you not use a knife to cut your dress?' Eomer asked.

'I did not have a knife on me -' I said, but he did not let me finish.

'Why not?'

'I was not going to participate in the hunt, so why would I have?' I was getting angry again.

'I have told you many times before, carry a knife with you! You never know if you are going to need it!' he said, his voice slightly raised.

'How was I supposed to know I was going to need it!'

'You are making my point!' he said harshly.

'I shall also always bring a plate as I never know when I might eat something, or a candle if I am suddenly in the dark! And while I am at it, packing my bag with things I _might ever need_ , I should also include a box to stand on when I am ever in need to reach something up high!' I said.

'Stop acting like a child, those things are not comparable to a knife,'

'I am a child!' we were both breathing heavily and up until then I was not aware that we had moved closer to each other. His face was so close to mine I could see that his eyes were red.

'Yes, you are. Moments like these are an easy reminder at exactly how young you are,' he said and it hurt more than I wanted to admit. I felt my eyes sting and I backed away into the bed again. I felt his eyes on me but I did not dare look at him.

'I am sorry. I did not come here to fight,' still I could not bring myself to look at him.

'Why did you come then? You seemed perfectly happy shouting at me,' it took him a bit to answer.

'I needed to see if you were alright. When you fell through the ice - I - it was - and then you were so deep in the water it -,' he sighed, 'give me your hand,' this surprised me and I looked over at him, but he was looking at the bundle of furs that I was buried under. I moved my arm from underneath it all and placed my hand in his as he held it out for me.

'Still cold,' he said, before he placed his other hand on top.


	14. A thief

We had crossed the Anduin days ago and were riding next to it up North. Far in the distance we could see Mirkwood on our right side and I remembered being told that Elves live there. I did not want to go near the wood if we did not have to, believing Elves were best to be avoided.

'We are getting closer. It is still a long way, but being this close to Mirkwood gives me a secure feeling. I highly doubt we will encounter any more orcs. We might run into people, so we have to be careful what we say in case we are overheard. Do not mention where we hail from, we have been travelling for years. Do not mention who we are looking for or where we are going. And keep using the words and phrases we talked about,' Ryce said and I nodded.

'What do we do if we encounter elves?' I asked. I had never seen one in my life and I was glad for it. Our people told stories about elves having magical powers, being able to convince others to do their bidding, and being strangely close to animals, trees, and overall nature. They also aged differently than us and I had a hard time picturing that. To my surprise, Ryce laughed.

'You know where we are headed. You are aware that there are elves there?' I swallowed. He meant Rivendell.

'I am. I am just hoping we find him before elves find us,' him being Boromir, 'and then there will be three of us and I would feel more at ease. I am also hoping there are more men there,' I said.

'I do not understand the mistrust we have against elves. Ald- a friend of mine has encountered one not too long ago and did not tell anyone about it because he feared he would upset people. He told me there was nothing to fear, and that they were actually quite agreeable,' Aldin has seen an elf before? I was shocked. Also a bit hurt he did not tell me, meaning he had been afraid of my response.

'Really? Well, maybe that was an exception. Or, you know, our tales are true and the elf ensnared him, forcing him to spread the word elves are agreeable,' Ryce only chuckled and shook his head.

/ / /

We had only lit up campfires to cook food during the day, as it would draw too much attention if it was during the darkness of the night time. This was something I had already picked up during one of the rides, but it did not help that the nights were getting colder. The area around us was open so Ryce was not too happy about stopping for a few hours, but we had to as we were afraid we would tire the horses too fast. We had observed that we would not come across more shielded fields for hours to come, so we made do with a small rock formation that did not even reach higher than Tordag. I had just sat down to drink water and eat some poison free berries.

'If you will excuse me, nature is calling on me,' Ryce said and I rolled my eyes. He enjoyed finding new ways to announce he had to relieve himself. My favourite was that he needed to "tinkle". I was looking over the fields and realized once again how light it was, even thought it was late into the night. It was just that the starlight shone brighter in areas where there were no other lights.

I had finished all the berries and was starting to wonder why Ryce was taking so long. I had not looked where he had gone as that was the appropriate thing to do, but now I could not see him anywhere. I stood up and even looked behind the rocks, but there was no sign of him. I cursed and started walking a bit from the camp, remembering Ryce telling me not to shout out loud in any situation. Sounds could travel far, he said. So I stopped and tried to listen, but after several long moments I gave up listening.

'Raeza,' I hissed while looking around me. I looked at the horses and they were completely unbothered, which usually is a good sign, but now I was not so sure.

'Raeza,' again, no answer came. Where had he gone off to? I swallowed, had something happened to him? I started walking in the direction where we had come from, all the while looking back every so many steps to keep an eye on every direction.

'Raeza,' I whisper-shouted. Nothing. The uneasiness in me grew as I kept searching for him. How hard was it to take a piss?! As I kept looking at my surroundings I looked to the left and saw a dark patch on the ground and thought it looked sort of strange. Rocks? Bushes? Hesitantly I walked over to it and when I was close enough, I saw it was a decaying carcass of what used to be a horse. I felt nauseated at the sight and quickly looked away. I turned around to set in another direction and glanced over at the horses again. It was only then that I saw a shadow moving close to Hefric. Before I could do anything he had jumped on him.

'No!' I shouted, and started running towards where they were. Whoever it was on my horse had heard my shout and I saw Hefric took off, closely followed by Tordag. I cursed out loud.

'Stop!' I shouted and I pushed myself to run faster. They did not stop. I ran as fast as I could but soon I realised I could not outrun them, let alone catch up to them.

So I stopped, defeated. I kept looking at the silhouettes of the two horses and the shadow on top of Hefric, but I could almost not make them out anymore. I was panting and felt anger bubble up inside me. Who would do such a thing? Who could ever feel entitled to take what is not theirs? Hefric… The shadowy figure had stolen my horse and Ryce's horse. I started running again, fuelled by anger at the injustice of it all. Not my horse, I thought as I ignored my burning lungs. You cannot have my horse, I felt my muscles burning. Not Tordag, as I squinted my eyes at what I thought was the fading shadow of the thief. I kept running and shut out any thought that would lead me into desperation. Just run. Do not think about what would happen if I lost them. Run. Had the shadow taken Ryce, too? Keep running. How would I get to Rivendell alone, without Hefric? Without Ryce? Just run.

Then I blinked and I could no longer see the horses moving in the dark, they had gone too fast and were now too far. I stopped again and put my hands on my knees as I tried to regulate my breathing again. I felt sick. The world was spinning. I kept my eyes shut until I was master of my own breath and stood upright again. I had to get used to the dark once more and focussed my eyes on the bit of darkness that was just below the sky, just where the first stars popped up behind what I knew were mountains. When I could discern trees from rocks I looked below and saw the glistening reflection of the stars on the river and I realized my breathing had returned normal again.

I cussed and really wanted to kick something. What on Arda was I going to do now? I sighed and gathered my thoughts. I felt fear bubbling up inside me and fought against it, I needed to remain calm and collected. I had my dirk and bow on me, and about twenty arrows in my quiver. I had left my waterskin at the rock formation and decided I would have to go back to collect it. Hopefully Ryce had left some useful things behind as well. I tried not to think about the items that were still strapped to Hefrics saddle and felt a wave of emotion flow through me as I realized all that I had just lost in a matter of minutes. I cursed again and turned around to make my way back.

It felt like an eternity had passed before I had found the spot where we had taken our break, but when I did I found my waterskin, Ryce's cloak as well as his own waterskin. While I was walking back here I felt torn because of the decision I had to make: was I going after Ryce and the horses, or would I continue on my journey to Rivendell? I was yet to make a decision as I postponed it, thinking both those things were in the same direction, so I felt I could decide later.

It was starting to get light again, but only slightly. The first hues of orange were visible in the sky behind the mountains. Normally I would appreciate the beauty of a sun rise, but I felt nothing now. I felt nothing except for guilt. I felt my eyes get teary again and my vision started to get blurry. Roughly I brushed the tears away and suddenly saw movement several yards away. Quickly I looked around for cover but saw none, so I dropped to the ground and prayed to the Gods that I did that without being seen. From here it looked like two horses were riding in this direction, and I immediately thought the shadowy figure was coming back for me. I cursed and moved so that I could take my bow from my back and an arrow from my quiver.

I had been taught how to shoot horizontally, but I was not very good at it. Somehow I could never really tug the cord back tightly enough to send the arrow flying fast. So I had to decide, would I stand up or would I stay on the ground like this? I decided I would wait until they were closer. I could tell I was not yet spotted, as the horses were not coming towards me but were going a little way to my left. The horses were not going as fast as they were before, in fact, it seemed like they were going so slowly I figured the rider had seen me and were now looking for me. I could see the horses clearly now and I jumped to my feet as I recognized them. I felt a bubble of joy burst inside me as I saw it was Ryce who was riding on Tordag and had the reins for Hefric in his hand. He steered towards me, but I ran towards them as I could not wait a second longer.

'Ry-Raeza- Ryce! You are back and you have the horses!' I looked up at him in awe, but he had a strange look on his face.

'I do indeed,' he said. I looked him over but did not see any blood on him.

'But, how? You had not gone that far away, had you? And the thief, he took off so fast…' slowly, the pieces started to fall together.

Joy had made room for anger.

'It was you. You rode away with the horses,'


	15. Lessons learned

'I am glad you caught on,' he said as he hopped off Tordag. He almost sounded… chipper. There was no need to sound _chipper_.

' _You are glad I caught on?_ What were you doing, Ryce?'

'Remember the names,' he said. I stepped closer to him and looked up at him angrily. He seemed unfazed.

'You took the horses! And left me! Thinking you were murdered, or worse, taken! You scared me to death, Ryce!'

'The names, Odile. And being taken is worse than death? Interesting observation, I -' Ryce said before I interrupted him.

' _I could not give two flying fences for the names,_ Raeza, _now tell me what you were doing!_ ' He swallowed.

'And you fight like this with him on a regular basis? I do not know how you two do it. Anyway, why do you think I did it?' I knew he meant Eomer and somehow that calmed me down a bit. Not enough to appreciate his answering my question with a question, though.

'Because you have a sick sense of humor is the only reason I can think of now,' he laughed.

'No. Because there was a lesson in there. And you did well, I might add, considering' he said. I must have looked confused, because he continued.

'You were a bit slow to realize I was taking too long, but you did handle well after that. Keeping an eye on your surroundings, not _really_ shouting, keeping an eye on camp. But then you got distracted by that carcass and I could ride away. I cannot blame you for the way you responded for that and I needed to know how you would react. You should have stopped chasing me sooner. There was no way of catching up and you should have known that. You hail from the Mark,' he said. I sighed.

'I did realize that, and then I stopped. But then I got so angry and desperate I started running again. The thought of doing this alone… just-,'

'Might be a possibility, Dilly. You need to consider that as an option,' I swallowed and looked at my feet. He was right. Somehow, the knowledge that this journey could change for the worse at any moment had faded to the back of my mind. It was not a given that Ryce would accompany me on this journey, nor would it ever be. I should be thankful that we were still together, yet I should never forget that the uncertainty of the future and that I should be able to adapt to the changes. Always. It was only days ago when we were able to escape the orcs.

'You are right,' I said, 'I guess I was getting a bit too comfortable in our current situation. But as much as I appreciate you teaching me the ways of riding on a mission, it would be better if those lessons did not take up so much time! We have lost enough time already, Raeza,' to my utmost surprise and maybe even horror, he started laughing. Frantically.

'And now I have taught you all I know to teach. How long have we been gone, Dilly?' I thought for a bit, then remembered the note I made last night.

'Today marks our twenty-second day we have been gone,' I said confidently.  
'No. It is only the fifteenth,' how in the…, 'I wish we would have a painter with us today so the look on your face could have been captured, for me to have the blessed canvas of that in my possession. For years to come on Yule I will bring it with me to tell everyone the story of how I became a master at deceive,' he chuckled. I had no idea what was happening. Had I made mistakes in my notes? Had I accidentally slept two days? _Did I imagine some days that did not even happe-  
_ 'Remember when I told you it had been a fortnight since we had left? It had only been seven days,' Ryce said.  
' _I beg your pardon?_ ' the smirk on his face stayed put.

'Time passes differently in Entwood. I told you that. I noticed the first five days you had asked me what day it was every day. I became aware you were not keeping track yourself. I realized I overestimated your knowledge of rides,' Well. Please do not spare my feelings, I thought while I felt the now familiar feeling of tears behind my eyes. At this point he looked at me and saw my expression. I remember him telling me once not to be such an open book, because that could be used to my disadvantage, so I quickly bit back the tears until I tasted blood.

'I realised,' he went on, 'that no one on any previous rides took the time to teach you the _details_. Everyone was so preoccupied in teaching you how to keep yourself safe, how they could keep you safe. But most of the time, the rides you went on were not even that dangerous. Maybe they - I am sorry, I keep saying they, but I must include myself in this, maybe _we_ thought you would not care or would not learn, or maybe we did not want to bother. I realized that was a mistake, so I wanted to teach you in the only way I knew, the way I was taught - by making mistakes first and having someone else point them out, and -'

'That is not true. You chose to be a rider, so you went on a ride to be taught by your elders,' I intervened. It was the only thing I could think of to say, I was a _bit_ in shock. He smiled.

'And that is how I learned. You know a different side of Háma than I do,' Another shock, I never knew his teacher was Háma! Then it hit me what he had said, that he had taught me everything he knew.

'So, you are saying there is nothing left for you to teach me?' I asked. He laughed.

'Well, I would not go so far as to say _that_. Your cooking skills leave much to be desired. But, I think I have taught you well in the ways of riding out,' he seemed content with that, so I was, too.

'Thank you,' I decided to let his comment on my cooking skills slip. He was actually right.

'You are welcome,' He said, still smirking.


	16. Chance encounter

I had never really thought about how big Middle Earth was outside of the Mark, but as we rode on the days turned into weeks. I mean, the Mark was big on its own. I just never had the imagination to even try and picture the rest of Arda.

I had just marked the twenty-fourth day of our journey as we had stopped to rest. Ryce said we were close to the Old Ford where the bridge would be and he was happy about how fast we were going.

'I must admit, I had thought you would complain more about riding so much,' he said as he gave me two apples and a small fish.

'Oh no, I enjoy the riding. The fish, however, I have tasted enough of. Tomorrow we should try to find a rabbit or bird,' he laughed out loud.

'I would kill for some chicken,' he said.

'I miss Olfete's mashed potatoes with carrots,' I said longingly. He gave me a look and I realized I had slipped up in saying Olfete. Ryce looked around, but we were at the edge of the river and we could see far around us. If there was anyone there, it could only have been a cloaked elf of some sort. Ever since we had come close to Mirkwood I had felt uneasy. After I had finished eating, I took my boots off and rolled my legging higher up my legs before I went into the water to wash up a bit. The dirk I always kept in my boot I had now strapped to my belt.

I was untangling the braid in my hair. There were a lot of knots in my hair and I closed my eyes in pain as I tried to sort them out. I heard the water splash around me and I thought Ryce had joined me in the water. Then I felt something cold touch my neck and I froze. I opened my eyes and stared in the face of a man who looked at me with a look full of suspicion. His eyes bore into mine and they looked so _angry_.

'You have been following me for days. Who are you?' the man said. _Where was Ryce?_ I wanted to turn around to look, but decided against it. Maybe he had been able to hide.

'I was not aware I was following you,' I said. Best to say as little as possible, just as Ryce and I had talked about.

'Lies! Who are you? I will not ask again,' he pressed his sword just a bit further in my neck.

'I am no danger to you. You are the one with the sword to my neck. I am just travelling, minding my own matters,' I said with feigned confidence, hoping he would not see through it. I felt like I had heard his voice before, but I could not quite place it. The pressure behind his sword lessened and I relaxed ever so slightly.

'Where is your companion?' my mind worked fast. He said we had been following him for days, so he had seen that I was not alone. Or was he following us? From what direction had he come? Only then did I notice that he was soaking wet. His hair was in strands around his face. The anger in his eyes had not faded one bit.

'I do not know,' the pressure increased again.

'I would advise you to stop lying. As you said, I am the one with a sword to your throat,' he said calmly. Then it clicked. His voice - this was Boromir. My eyes widened as I looked at him. I was looking at my brother for the first time. My mind went blank for moments.

'Speak, woman!' he had grown impatient. I was frozen. I could not stop looking at his face. I had forgotten what my father looked like, but I could see my mother in his eyes. Our mother. I had not prepared myself enough for what I would do when I finally saw him, and now it was too late. Would I tell him who I was immediately? Would I say I was Odile? Sorrun?

 _Where was Ryce?!_

'Have you suddenly turned deaf?' I needed to say something.

'He is likely to be tending to the horses,' I said. How was I going to get myself out of this situation?

'Tell me your name,' it sounded as though his patience had run out. I breathed in deeply. I was sure this was Boromir. I felt it.

'My name is Sorrun. You have spoken to Theoden King weeks ago, we both know about what. My companion and I are to accompany you. I did not lie when I said that I was not aware we were following you, but we were trying to find you,' his eyes looked me over a couple of times.

'Is that so? Then why has it taken you so long to find me?' he demanded.

'We first thought you had taken a different route. We went through the Entwood at the beginning of our journey before we realized you had gone another direction,' he seemed to ponder this.

'King Theoden sent a woman on this quest? How strange,' he did not really sound angry at this, more genuinely surprised. It would never have happened in Gondor.

'She is telling the truth, Boromir, now would you please be so kind as to remove your dagger?' Ryce said from behind me. Sword, dagger, potato, potahto. I was thankful Ryce finally decided to appear. I felt sweat drippling down my neck. Or was it water?

'And who are you?' Boromir said, still slightly suspicious as he had not lowered his dagger.

'My name is Ryce. You saw me when you were in Rohan,' he said. Boromir turned his full attention to Ryce and whatever he saw made him drop his hostility and he removed the blade from my neck. The atmosphere changed and it was a bit… awkward now.

'I am glad we finally found you. How were you able to sneak up on me?' I asked.

'Once I became aware you were following me, I decided to cross the river so I could see who you were and what your intentions were. I swam here when I saw you were taking a break,' he said.

'I see. Where is your horse?'

'Being tended to at the Old Ford. There was something wrong with his shoe. Also, it made it easier for me to sneak up on you without my horse. He is easily spotted,'. He moved out of the water to where Ryce was and I followed him with my eyes. I was not sure what I expected Boromir would look like, but now that I saw him, I could not imagine him differently. He had a certain pride in how he walked and talked, he was quite tall and broad shouldered, and his voice demanded to be listened to. Yet his eyes… I could not read them. He seemed intimidating to me.

I finished up in the water and went back to the dry land. Ryce and Boromir were talking about the band of orcs we had seen.

'It was one of the biggest parties I have ever seen,' Boromir said. So he had seen them, too.

'It is not common for them to walk around during the day. I wonder why that was,' Ryce said.

'I would say they are marching towards some place where there will be even more,' Boromir said grimly. Boromir turned to me.

'You look familiar. Do I know you?' I felt a shock go through me, _too soon._

'That seems unlikely. I would remember you, but I do not, so we do not,' I said, priding myself in not _really_ lying. Then I saw his look. First he looked puzzled and then _he looked me up and down_. Oh _no._ I realised what I said could easily be misinterpreted as _flattering_ or even, I swallowed, _flirting_.

'We should go and collect your horse,' Ryce said and I shot him a grateful look.

'I should get my bearings from the other side first,' Boromir looked from me to Ryce before he took off. There was an awkward silence between Ryce and me.

'How should we proceed? Are we to ride together on Tordag or Hefric, or do you want to ride with Boromir? I do not think he would ride off with one of our horses, so I think you and I should ride together,' Ryce said as we started collecting our bags.

'I agree. Let him take Hefric, Tordag is not used to having a different rider on him. And besides, your horse is way too stubborn to listen to anyone but you,' I said.

'And I take great pride in that!' Ryce responded, we both laughed at that and started to pack our horses.

And so the first part of our journey was completed. We had found Boromir and the three of us would travel the rest of the way to Rivendell together.

Somehow I felt like the biggest challenges were yet to come.


	17. First dance

I felt safe enough to sleep here now, knowing that Ryce was no more than six feet away from me and Boromir at the other side. We were getting close to Rivendell. Tomorrow we would pass through the mountains that lead there. But I could not fall asleep and I was starting to worry myself with thoughts of an uncertain future, and so I thought of a happier memory, back when I was younger and I was too young to realize it, but it all was a part of the process of me falling for Eomer.

 _Memory_

He was soon to go from 19 years of age to 20, making me only 15 at the time. As tradition required, he would have to choose his life's path before his twentieth year. He had been joining groups of Riders of Rohan for a while, to learn the ways of a Ride, but the following Ride Out would be different.

Everyone in the Mark was free to choose whichever life's path one desired. Some started studying for it young, as they could be taught by their families. This was usually the path the ones took that desired to be blacksmiths, carpenters, farmers, bakers, and traders. Other paths were harder, such as becoming healers or hunters. They would have to go in training with Masters and it could take years. And then there was the path to aid the King, which is what Eomer always desired to do: aid the King.

Everyone was required to choose before their twentieth birth day, as that was the latest one could decide on their own free will. If one could not decide or there were too many interests to choose from, one would be appointed a position in the easier fields. Being a healer, hunter, or anything harder required passion, and everyone knew that passion would manifest in someone who did not have trouble deciding their life's path. Then there was the path to becoming a Horse Master which is actually one of the hardest. Not everyone could tame our stallions, nor care for the mares or raise a filly. Some have jokingly said it was easier to become part of the Kings counsel than it was to be a member of the horse breeders.

The path to serve the King, to be a Rohirric Rider, was different. One had to prove oneself, show the possibilities one had to offer. It required going out on Rides with the riders to observe and train. The year Eomer turned 20, so did Eothain. That year a new Marshal would be chosen. They would Ride Out with both Eomer and Eothain, they would be tested, and upon returning it would be revealed to everyone who the new Marshal would be.

Eothain and Eomer both desired becoming Marshal, they both came from Rider fathers and their ambition to follow in their steps was admirable, as they had both passed away during the same attack when the boys were 10 years old. Everyone in Edoras knew the boys would both go on that fateful Ride Out, and none could say who would come back as the Marshall.

What I had found most interesting and intriguing, was that there was no angry competitiveness between the two soon to be men. None at all. They never spoke ill of each other, quite on the contrary, they were and still are the closest and best of friends. There was not a single bone in their bodies that would not accept who would lead and who would follow. Who would be Marshal and who would be his second. I had never seen anything like it, I used to think, but now I realize I did indeed have that, with Ryce and in our own way. I remember how Eowyn used to have such trouble believing she and Ryce were equal to me and nothing would ever change that. Luckily that understanding grew as time went by, and now we are as thick as thieves.

The first day of his journey of learning, he was riding all day but would return the evening. The 6 days that followed he would sleep in the plains of the mark. I was waiting eagerly for his return and Eowyn had found me too impatient to be patient with, so she had left me on one of the balconies of Meduseld on the fourth day and I returned there the next two days by myself.

I was leaning on the balconies edge, and it was getting pretty dark already. I finally had tired myself from walking around in circles trying to spot his group in the distance, but I never saw anything. After a while it had gotten too dark to be able to see outside of the walls, so I focused on the inside of the walls instead.

All the warm colours coming from windows and their inside hearths, outside campfires and burning torches lit up a tensed nights events at Edoras. Everyone knew it was starting to get pretty late for the riders to return, although it could be pretty normal at some Ride outs. Yet we all sensed this might be different as they had not gone too far nor to too dangerous places.

I tasted blood as I had been biting my lip unconsciously, but this was a bitter wake up call. As I was about to go in for a glass of water, I heard excited voices as the gates opened for the riders, as was part of the tradition. I forgot about the metal taste in my mouth as I ran down the steps. My intuition had made me worry about them and so I quickly made my way through everyone else who were going to welcome back the riders, mumbling sorry here and there.

When I finally reached them, Eomer was at the front, leading the Riders, and had just dismounted Firefoot. He was wearing the Marshall helmet. He would become the leader.

The actual choosing ceremony takes place only between the riders before the night of their return, marking his first lead back home the following day. No one outside of the Riders really knew what happens during that ceremony, which I always thought was very interesting and I had asked many questions about it. No one would answer me, though.

Upon returning to Edoras, the new Marshal would then be accepted by the people as if it were the natural thing to have happened. But, if someone from Rohan would have a complaint, they would have to take it to the King himself the next day.

Only the King would hear the complaint and then discuss with the Marshall himself what decision would be made, and then based on that, the King could choose whether to trust the person that refused or his riders. That had never happened before. Yet it was an old rule our kin before us thought necessary to include, and so we kept it. I never would have thought I would have experienced the first time for that in my years, but I did not want to think about that now.

I came to a complete standstill when I saw Eomer's back and felt my heart flutter. He would be the new Marshal and I could not have been prouder.

My heart dropped when he turned around though, as his face was covered in blood and so was his armor. He had not seen me yet and suddenly I became aware of all the shouting around me.

'Make way! The King is hurt,' now my heart was in my throat and I found it hard to swallow. At once I saw the King struggling to dismount, but my mother had been quick to his aid as he stepped down and gave him mead. It was up to Eomer to speak now. I don't even think I blinked once before he finally spoke.

'We were attacked by free folk close to Entwood. They felt we were trespassing in their territory. Theoden King took an arrow to his shoulder, but Háma believes it to be superficial. The King will be fine,' he said. The air felt instantly lighter and felt it nice to breathe again. Eothain was now his second and slapped Eomers' shoulder patch before adding, 'That arrow would have been the Kings head if it was not for Eomer,' this earned some surprised gasps.

It was widely known the people of Rohan were close to one another, but there were limits to the candor of the riders to us normal folk. This little addition of Eothain was an example of that. But when I looked at the King he smiled slightly at Eothain, before turning to Eomer and sincerely bowed his head to him.

That had been absolutely spectacular and rare to say the least. The King does not bow to anyone, in some cultures only to other kings, so this was a great honor for Eomer.

'I thank you,' the King said.

'I see you,' Eomer responded. The king was then slowly making his way inside with the help of my mother and some of his riders followed, others stabled the horses, but they all walked by Eomer to pride him before going away. I was close to reaching the limits of my very little patience and walked over to him, just as Eothain walked away and lucky for me, he was the last.

What I really had wanted to do was hug him fiercely, but that kind of fierce urge was new to me and I felt too shy to act on it.

'Eomer,' I had said. He quickly spun around as I had startled him.

'Sorrun! Bema, you walk silently,' he sounded utterly surprised, still a bit in shock. He looked at me funny for three seconds before he started to dirt himself off a bit. It clicked.

'Eomer, if you think you can hug me after you've dusted off a little bit and wiped a bit of blood away, I must ask you to think again,'

He didn't really listen to me, ever, as he pulled me in a tight embrace. I felt my cheeks get red and my hands a bit clammy. I let him crush me for a few moments before I returned the hug, to which he immediately hissed and pulled back.

'You are hurt!' I said accusingly. I looked up at him and he was grinning down.

'Small price to pay! I shall not complain,' he said. I noticed him shift from his left leg to his right.

'That depends!' I said.

'On what?' he asked. He shifted again.

'How badly you are hurt! Where are you hurt, anyway?' I moved closer to inspect him, but he stopped me by putting one hand on my shoulders.

'You have not even congratulated me, you know,' he said. I pressed my lips together.

'I am aware. I shall do so after I made certain I am not congratulating a dead man,' he burst out laughing and only cringed slightly in pain.

'You have such a flair for the dramatic,' he said. I crossed my arms and he raised his eyebrows while a small smile lingered on his lips as if he were saying I was making his point. I raised one eyebrow as we both stayed silent for moments. Then he cast his eyes to the sky, sighed, and lifted up a bit of his shirt that was sticking out from under his chestplate. I saw a small red cut on his side, but it had already stopped bleeding. I felt relieved, and then my eyes strayed to the rest of his body that he had uncovered as he had lifted up his shirt.

I had never seen a man's belly before. I did not know there would be hair under the navel. I was about to ask why there was hair there, but at the last moment I caught myself. That would have been inappropriate. I felt myself go red. I also saw his belly was not soft like mine or my mom's, or Olfete's or Eowyns, but it looked hard and I could see shapes in them as if it were a stone road. Were those muscles? Did I not have those muscles? Eomer dropped his shirt and I was convinced I was bright red now. I pushed myself to look up at him and he was grinning broadly at me. I did not meet his gaze.

'See? It is but a scratch,' he said. I swallowed and nodded.

'How is Theoden King?' I asked.

'He will be fine, really. The arrow merely scratched his skin,' I was not sure if I believed him as I recalled the way my mother had reacted to seeing the King hurt, but it did not look like Eomer was lying to me.

'You still have not congratulated me, firebug,' he said.

'Nothing gets past you, eh?' I said dryly.

'I just really want to hear you say it,' he said earnestly. I felt my face get red again and I did not dare meet his eyes. The people of Rohan were no writers, but they had a way with words and valued honesty and care in their phrasing.

'I congratulate you,' I said, as that was the valued custom to say, 'on achieving your desire to become Marshall to the King. I know you shall aid him well. The Riders shall prosper under your command and I feel you will share many victories. I am proud of you,' I practically whispered the last bit. I did not quite look him in the eye yet, instead I was focussing on a stray hair on his forehead. He was silent for so long that I grew even more nervous and eventually could not help myself and I looked him in the eyes. He smiled then.

'Dance with me tonight. To celebrate,' he said. I smiled back and nodded, not trusting my voice. He hurried off then, and I was left there with my own thoughts. I felt a strange sensation in my stomach, while also feeling stupid for the elaborate answer I had given him when he wanted me to congratulate him. Why had I said all that?

/ / /

'You should wear dresses more often,' my mother said as we were both standing in front of the looking glass. I sighed. We have had that discussion many times before.

'It is not practical during the day and there are hardly any occasions for it,' I said. She smiled and sighed.

'I hear you. That is what you always say, dearest. And then I say "but there are plenty! You just do not attend them", and then you say "because they bore me! I would much rather walk around in leggings all day. They are comfortable" I would agree again and then say…'

'"I know, sweetheart, but you are close to coming of age and so you must start looking that way. It would not be fair to our men if you suddenly start dressing like a woman only the year before you become one. Graduality is key,"' I said. She was smiling at me through the looking glass and I smiled back.

'Precisely. Besides, I do not think one particular man would like it if he suddenly had to fight for your attention while he never had to before,' Shocked I turned towards her and I felt that strange sensation in my stomach again. It was… pleasant somehow. It did not stop me from getting red, though. She started laughing out loud.

'I do not know what you mean,' I said as I looked back at the glass and started adjusting the braids in my hair, even though the braids were perfect. She chuckled softly.

'I only tease, dearest. Now, stop touching your hair or you will undo all my hard work,'

/ / /

The dinner was exquisite. The food served at feasts that were held in the honor of the Riders were always very diverse in vegetables and fruits, as the men mostly ate meat while they were away. Bringing fruits and vegetables was only extra weight and meat could be hunted on the road. Every home in Edoras would enjoy a festive meal tonight in honor of the new Marshal, but Meduseld was not big enough to host everyone and so if one wanted a spot in the great Golden Hall, one had to be early. Somehow we had managed to run a little late, but there was still room at the table where Ryce and Aldin were seated. As soon as I saw that I shot them grateful looks. Their table was only one table away from Eomer, I thought, and as soon as I did I wondered why I had that thought.

After the dinner, all the tables were moved to one of the antichambers to make room for the bard, flute, and harp players as well as to have room to dance. I was wondering which bard was going to perform tonight as Eowyn walked up to me together with Theodred Prince. I had to refrain myself from bowing to him, because he had recently told me off about it, saying we were past such formalities. Until he would become King, that was.

'How is your father?' I asked him as he took my outstretched hand to lightly kiss my knuckles. He was the only one who did that, I figured it was some sort of compromise on a greeting.

'He is well, thanks to the care of your mother. I will find her later to express my gratitude. How do you fare?' I always found Theodred slightly intimidating, as he was a bit older than me and somehow he always made that noticeable in the way he spoke to me.

'I am quite well, thank you,' at a loss for what to say next I started fearing an awkward silence, but he did not seem to share my concern.

'May I inquire, have you been asked to dance to the opening song yet?' I blinked rapidly, not expecting the conversation to take this turn. I recalled my conversation with Eomer, but he did not explicitly say the first dance.

'I have not,' Eowyn shot me a look and I tried to ignore her burning eyes.

'It is settled then. After the bard tells his story, we shall share the first dance,' before I could say anything else, he walked off. I turned to Eowyn.

'What are you doing?' she asked curiously.

'What am I doing? _He_ asked _me_ , you should know this, you stood right there!' I said.

'You are going to dance. With my cousin. With Theodred,' she said.

'Are you certain? I thought he asked me to climb the Sarn Gebir with him!' she grinned broadly.

'Please. You would never. He knows that. People will talk, seeing you two dance,' she added and she seemed very happy with that. And Eomer thinks I have a flair for drama.

'People are going to talk about what?' Aldin asked from behind me. I tried to tell Eowyn to stay quiet with my expression, but she either did not see or chose to ignore it.

'Sorrun is going to dance. With Theodred,' she said, still grinning. Aldin started laughing.

'Which dance?' he asked.

'The first one,' she replied.

'Ah, not the last? Now that would leave people talking for the rest of the season!' I felt the redness return. Had I ever blushed this much in one day?

'Pardon me. I must have heard wrong. Sorrun is going to _dance_?' Ryce had appeared out of thin air behind Eowyn. I felt myself getting angry. They were making a fool out of me.

'She is. With Theodred,' Eowyn added.

'It does not matter with whom! I do not remember the last time you danced with anyone, Runny,' Ryce said. The people around us started to move towards the bard. He would begin with telling a story soon. And then, if we were lucky, maybe another story before he would start to sing and we would dance. I swallowed.

'That is because I have not,' I said through gritted teeth.

'Sure you have. We have danced on several occasions. As you have with your mother, and Olfete, and -' Eowyn started, then she fell silent.

'There is a shocking lack of men on that list,' Aldin stated. I wondered how much redder I could get.

'I never thought I would see the day. Sorry is dancing with us mere males! I claim another dance,' Ryce said.

'As do I,' Aldin said.

'Well, if we are not careful the whole of Edoras will be asking her for a dance! The bard does not know enough songs for you to dance with everyone,' Eowyn said. The three of them were enjoying this too much for my liking.

'Enough. Theodred asked me if I wanted to dance the first dance with him and I said yes. Why is that so funny to you?' I damned myself for uttering the question, because I knew I would not like the answer. It had gotten quiet around us and we realised the bard had started his tale. We lowered our voices and moved further away from the crowd.

'We all assumed your first dance would be with Eomer,' Aldin said. Strange feeling in my stomach again. I would have liked that, now that he mentioned it.

'He did ask me to dance with him, just after he returned this afternoon,' I said. They fell silent. Then, in perfect synchronisation, Aldin and Ryce started laughing. Eowyn, however, looked concerned. She poked them both in the sides and they lowered their volume.

'He had not specifically said the first?' she asked.

'No. Why are you laughing so?' I asked the boys. That only increased their laughter.

'He will get so angry,' Ryce said in between laughs.

'Do not be silly,' I said. The feeling in my stomach got more intense and I found it could be best described as a fluttering feeling.

'Cannot wait to see his face when he finds out,' Aldin said while still laughing.

'Sorrun, usually when someone asks someone to dance, they mean the first dance. Only the last dance is specified mostly, because of the message it sends,' I blinked a couple of times.

'What! How does that make sense? How is someone to know that the first dance is implied? How should someone know how many others have been asked to dance, too? And what message is sent with dancing the last dance together?' I was so confused. Ryce and Aldin had stepped outside on one of the balconies yet I could still hear their laughter.

'You never really pay attention to these kinds of things, Sor. You really should. If someone asks you specifically to dance before the dance, they usually mean the first dance. Every other dance in between the first and the last is asked during the feast as they walk up to the one they want to dance with and await their answer then and there. As for the last dance… have you never noticed that the last song is always announced? And that the only ones dancing are siblings with each other, married couples and betrothed? And children, but they do not count,' I swallowed. No, I had never noticed that.

'Oh no. So I promised my first dance to Eomer and Theodred?' I asked in disbelief. I did not want to disrespect either of them by turning one down so close to the dance. Eowyn nodded.

'I would say you take your word back from Theodred. He was the second to ask, and…'she fell silent.

'And?!' I said impatiently as she did not finish her sentence.

'And he would not get as mad as Eomer,'

'Why do you all think he would get so angry? He should have been more clear in asking me which dance he meant!' I countered.

'Well, now you know what it means, who do you want to have the first dance with?' she asked. I knew my answer almost immediately, but I could not back down from my word to the _prince_. So I pressed my lips together and sighed. Eowyn nodded as she understood my mental turmoil.

I knew where Eomer was in the crowd as he towered over the rest and I gathered my courage as I walked up to him. I patted him on the shoulder and he turned around. He had to look down to see me and when he did, he smiled.

'Came to claim your dance?' He asked. I swallowed.

'I need to talk to you,' I said. His smile turned into a frown and he looked me over before looking me in my eyes again.

'Step outside with me,' I added. He nodded and took the lead. As we walked onto one of the balconies I double checked to see if Aldin and Ryce were not on this one, and when I saw no one else, I turned to him. I had no idea how much longer the bard would be telling his tale, so I had to hurry up. I just had not found the words yet. Why was this so hard?

'Tell me then,' he said, probably thinking I was silent for too long, so I inhaled deeply.

'IaccidentallypromisedTheodredthefirstdanceaswell,' I said faster than I had ever thought possible. Even I did not hear what I had said, but I knew. Eomer looked puzzled and then expressionless.

'You are going to have to repeat that,' he said. I looked up at him.

'I am sorry. Theodred asked me to dance the first dance - and I said yes because - I - you did not say you meant the first dance so I thought it could be any - I did not know - the order -' incomprehensive as I was being, I could tell he understood what I had said.

'I see. You are blaming me for promising your dance to two people,' his eyes were hard, but there was a weird smile around his lips.

'No - well - yes - no. I did not know that there was a specific… order to asking one to dance,' he raised an eyebrow.

'Did you not? I see,' he said.

'You do not believe me?'

'And so you decided to let me off instead of Theodred?' I frowned. He started doing that a lot lately, answering a question with another question.

'I asked you a question, too,' I said.

'I thought it was a statement. So are you denying us both or just me?' my friends were right, he was getting angry. He was fighting it, but he was getting angry. But I was getting angry, too.

'It was not a statement so answer me, Eomer, do you not believe me? Do you not believe I had no idea how our little court works?'

'Indeed I do not! You are soon to be of age and your mother is an honourable woman as is Olfete so I trust they have thought you the ways! Now answer me, Sorrun, did you also tell Theodred of your mistake?' I blinked in confusion.

'They are starting to teach me! I have never before shown interest in our court as you are well aware, I am always out with you or Eowyn or Aldin or Ryce! And no, I have not told Theodred -'

'Why?'

'Why what?'

'Why are you telling _me_ this instead of Theodred!'

'Because he is my prince!' I said. I had not before noticed he was standing close to me. His shoulders had been going up and down fast, but now they abruptly stopped. His eyes bored into mine before he shut them momentarily.

'I see,' what?

'You see what?' I asked.

'And what does that make me? Easily disposable?'

'What? Eomer, no, not at all,'

'Then what, Sorrun?' he looked… hurt, somehow.

'You are my friend. My close friend. He is my prince, I could not deny him because I feel that would be dishonorable,'

' _Your_ prince? I see -'

'Stop saying that, clearly you do not see! He is the prince, he is further away from me than you are which is why I felt you would understand, once I explained it to you. I would rather have my first dance with you, but as I made the mistake of promising the prince the first dance as well I feel I am obliged to carry out my promise to him. I did not do this to hurt you,' and as fast as my anger towards him had come it had gone as well. He was still looking at me only now I could not read his expression. He stayed silent for so long I could hear the soft tunes of the flute and harp. Inside they were getting ready for the dance. Theodred would be looking for me. It did not look like Eomer would say anything more, so I placed my hand right above his elbow.

'I did not do this to hurt you. I made a mistake, I am only now learning the ways of coming of age! I think I understand your anger, but please also try to understand my explanation. I am sorry. I hope you will still want to dance with me after, but I understand if you do not,' I said before I let go of his arm and walked inside.

/ / /

Luckily for me, the first dance was a fast and chipper song. I would not be able to dance a slower song with Theodred, because I had no idea how to carry myself with him. He intimidated me even more up close.

'Your mother seems close to my father,' Theodred started as the dance required us to move close together now.

'He has been to the healing rooms more often lately. My mother is there all the time,' I said. Was that okay for me to say about my King? I had no clue.

'Indeed, it seems he needs help addressing even a simple paper cut,' he said. Only when I saw him smile I felt like I could smile, too. Then his smile faded just the slightest bit.

'My father seems to enjoy her company. Tell me, has she ever spoken of him to you?' luckily for me, the next moves of the dance required us to part ways for a few steps so I could think of my answer.

'She always talks very highly of the King. She told me he sometimes reads to her and others in the healing rooms when he is there. She says he has a nice voice,' I said and for a moment I was afraid I had said too much. Then his smile grew bigger.

'Indeed he does. He could have been the bard if it were not for his royalty,' we both laughed at this. A little bit of the tension I felt had drained away, but I was still not completely at ease dancing with someone so… regal. That and I never was very good at making new friends. The four I had, I had for as long as I could remember and I could not really remember the point where we became as close as we were. I wanted to ask him why he was asking, but I dared not.

'Grima is concerned that your mother's intentions are… selfish,' Theodred then said, 'however, I do not agree, certainly not after what you have told me. Your candor is appreciated,' he said and as if he knew beforehand (which he probably did), the dance ended, we bowed to each other and he kissed my knuckles again. I wanted to say something, but then my eyes fell on Eomer who was standing next to us all of a sudden. He was looking at my hand, the one Theodred just kissed, the one Theodred was still holding. Why did that make me feel weird?

'Theodred. I hear Eowyn is eager to have the next dance with you,' Eomer said. He was looking at Theodred now, and he smirked.

'Is that so? How fortunate, most of the time it is I who has to ask for her hand in a dance! I take it you shall dance with Sorrun, then?' Theodred said. Still Eomer did not look at me. I was afraid he was going to say no, but then...

'I will, if she will have me,' _I would if you would just look at me_ , because I wanted to nod as I did not trust my voice. What was happening to me?

Finally Theodred looked at me and so did Eomer. Then I nodded and Theodred took my hand and placed it on Eomer's. Theodred took off straight away and Eomer positioned himself in front of me, awaiting the starting tune of the music to see what kind of dance it was going to be.

'I think I understand,' he said. Oh oh, we were going to pick up where we left off. At least he did not sound angry, not really. I did feel a tension rise as soon as Eomer was so close.

'I am glad,' the tunes were soft and gentle, it would be a slow dance.

'I should not have reacted the way I did. It is only a dance, correct?' he asked.

'Yes,'

'How was it?'

'What?' I had gotten distracted by his eyes. Dancing was not as hard as I thought it would be, but I guessed it had to do with my partners and that they both could lead well.

'The dancing with Theodred. It seemed like you had fun,' he had seen me dance? That realisation felt… strange. Intimate, even. I shook that feeling away and smiled.

'It was. He asked about my mother,' I felt the grip in his hands tighten for a moment before it was gone.

'Did he indeed? What did he ask?'

'If she ever spoke to me about Theoden King. Theodred seems to think they are taking a liking towards each other,' and just like that, the tension was gone. What did he think Theodred and I were talking about?

'Yes, he has asked me about that as well. Asked if I saw a change in his behavior whenever he had gone to the healing rooms,'

'And have you?' I asked.

'Theoden has taken to whistling tunes lately. That is new,' I guess that was a yes. The dance started to go faster and I was struggling to keep up.

'You really have no experience with this, do you?' Eomer asked.

'No, why would I lie-iee,' all of a sudden he had lifted me off the floor by my waist and I put my hands on his shoulders to balance myself. He was slowly turning in a circle, all the while grinning from ear to ear and I could not help but smile myself. I looked around and saw others in the air as well and my smile turned into a giggle. Slowly he lowered me again and for the rest of our dance I could not look away from him. The fluttering feeling stayed put.

The song came to an end and from the corner of my eye I saw someone stopping next to us, so I turned and saw Aldin.

'I believe it is my turn,' he said happily.

'I am sorry, I did not quite catch that,' Eomer said. Strange, I heard Aldin perfectly.

'I said that I think it is my turn to dance with Sorrun,' Aldin said again, still happy but less certain. The music started again, and again it was a soft and gentle tone.

'Ah. I think you are wrong. Sorry,' Eomer grinned at Aldin, took both my hands and nearly dragged me after him as I was not good at moving around in dresses yet. I could not help but laugh at Eomer.

'I cannot believe you did that,' I said. Somewhere I was a bit annoyed he had just demanded the next dance from me and treated Aldin in such a way, but then I remembered our fight on the balcony and did not want to see him that angry at me again. I looked over at Aldin and saw him dancing with Ryce, so he was not really hurt either.

'You have not heard? The one who claims the second dance, claims all the dances,' he said. I looked at him with a mixture of shock and questioning, but soon he started laughing.

'Not funny,' I said in mock anger.

'It is to me,'


	18. Elven city

It would not be long now until we reached Rivendell and I was dreading it more and more. I was starting to doubt my decision in coming here. On what grounds would I be able to convince Lord Elrond that I knew what I was getting myself into? I had overheard Boromir talk of a dream back home, that that dream had told him he had to go to Rivendell… and then what? I realised I did not know enough of Boromir's dream and Lord Elrond could easily dismiss me because of my ignorance. So I mustered up all of my courage to ask Boromir more about it.

'Boromir, I hope you will not think me intrusive, but I must ask you something,' I started tentatively. I saw Ryce shift on his saddle and Boromir turned his attention to me.

'Go on then,' he said.

'Could you maybe tell us more about the dream you had?' He looked directly at me now.

'I would much rather tell you more about it once we have made it into Rivendell. I fear we could be overheard,' he made a good point, but I did not give up.

'I share that fear, however you said it will take us less than an hour to reach Rivendell at this point. I think being this close to Rivendell provides us with some security,' he looked at me, but did not say anything for a while. I thought he dismissed the matter, but then he continued.

'Let us halt here then, and I shall tell you what I will tell Lord Elrond,' and so we did. He led his horse to halt next to Tordag so that he was closer to Ryce and me. He faced the road behind us as Ryce faced the road ahead, so I took it upon me to look at the sides of the road, and we kept looking around ever watchful as Boromir spoke of his dream in a hushed voice.

'My brother, Faramir, and I have shared the same dream. He has dreamt it more than me, but together we decided I would seek answers and he would stay in Gondor. In the dream, a voice spoke to me, saying:  
 _Seek for the Sword that was broken;_

 _In Imladris it dwells;_

 _There shall councils be taken;_

 _Stronger than Morgul-spells._

 _There shall be shown a token_

 _That doom is near at hand,_

 _For Isildur's Bane shall waken,_

 _And the Halfling forth shall stand,'_ it sounded all too familiar, and halfway through the voice of Boromir changed into one I had not heard before. Or had I? And what was Imladris? Morgul-spells? Isuldur's Bane? Halfling? I had so many questions, but somehow I knew the token was the Ring.

'Imladris is another name for Rivendell, so I set out to find out what that token is,' Boromir added.

'But you already know that that is the Ring. You said so when you were talking to Theodred King,' I said. His face turned to me and he looked confused.

'I never said such a thing,' he then said. Now it was my turn to look confused.

'Yes, you did. I heard you. You said something about the one Ring of power,' I said. He stayed quiet for a bit.

'You are mistaken. My father had his suspicions it would be the Ring, but outside of Gondor I never uttered a single word regarding it,' he then said. How could that be? I was convinced Boromir mentioned the Ring when I overheard him, but now he was denying it. Why? I studied his face trying to find signs that he was lying, but I could find none. I did not know him well enough to be able to tell when he hides the truth.

'We shall see if you are right. Let us speak of it no more outside of the confines of Rivendell. We must go on now,' Boromir said, but something in his tone changed and I could not pinpoint what it was. Irritation? Distrust? Impatience? Ever since Boromir had recited what he had heard in his dream, I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach that did not leave.

He turned his horse around and the three of us rode on. We had stopped at the Old Ford to recover his horse days ago, and I was relieved I was able to ride Hefric again.

'What is a "halfling?"' Ryce then asked.

'My father says it is another word for "hobbit", but I have never seen one,' well, that was not very informative, 'I imagine you have other questions as well. I suggest you keep them to yourselves for now, for I shall only answer them when we do not need to be watchful of our surroundings any longer,' I had _so_ many questions that this request of his was going to be quite the challenge to honor, but I hoped he would be true to his word and tell us more once we were in Rivendell.

We rode on without talking for some time. I took this opportunity to look around and knew we were riding in a valley of sorts. The last couple of days we had to journey over mountains and valleys. I looked down and noticed we were not really following a path anymore, but were riding in between high trees and high grass. Everything around us was very colourful and bright, and when I looked up I saw only the leafs of trees above. I was wondering how it could still be so light and bright down here as the roof of leafs was dense. I was surprised when we stopped all of a sudden and I looked back down in front of us and saw two figures in silver armour, wearing head pieces that covered almost all of their faces except for the bit where their eyes, nose, and mouths were. I saw long and slim bows on their backs and quivers full of arrows. I also saw swords at their sides, but they had not drawn any weapon.

'What is your business here?' one of them asked.

'We have come for counsel with Lord Elrond. We would rather not address the matter outside the safety of Imladris,' Boromir said. It took me that long to realise those two were elves. I tensed a bit.

'We must ask of you to allow us to take your weapons. We will give them back to you once Lord Elrond has agreed to see you,' the other elf spoke. I tensed some more. Boromir, however, jumped off of his horse, which scared the horse and took some steps backwards. Not fond of elves either, I thought as I hopped off Hefric and took Hefric by his reins walked over to Boromir's horse and took it by the reins, too. Boromir proceeded to unclasp his sword, took two daggers out of each boot, took another dagger from his chestplate, and removed a bag from his saddle. Probably more daggers. I looked over at Ryce and saw him following Boromir's lead as he removed his sword and several daggers from hiding places. As Ryce made no attempt to question us having to give away our weapons, I decided I would follow as well and removed my bow from my back as well as my quiver and the dirk from my boot. One of the elves presented a big, silver plate for us to put our weapons on and so we did.

'Please leave your horses at the stables. They will be well cared for,' one of the elves said. Now I did see Ryce hesitate and we shared a look.

'The elves keep true to their word as soon as we give them reason to trust us. Once Lord Elrond learns who I am, I am certain we will receive the famed Elven hospitality,' Boromir said. Was he also weary of Elves? It must have been clear as day that I was, because I felt like my uneasiness was written all over my face. I looked over at Ryce, but he was not looking at me but was looking around the trees. I couldn't really read his expression, but in the mixture of emotions shown I could not see worry. Or fear, for that matter. With great effort I left Hefric behind as we followed one of the Elves to - where? Enter Rivendell, I guess. Or Imladris. I looked back at Hefric and saw he was already looking at me. He had his ears perked up forward curiously, probably wondering why I left him with these strange creatures. I smiled at him reassuringly and he took a small step forward, neighing softly.

'Come on, we are losing the rest,' Ryce said from my side. I looked in front of me and saw Boromir and the elf walking some steps before us. I looked back one more time and was surprised as I saw the other elf caressing Hefrics nose. What surprised me was that Hefric allowed it. As I was looking at that strange scene I remembered that elves have a connection to animals that is unique to their kind. Still, I felt a bit uneasy. I recited Boromir's words and took comfort out of them, knowing our purpose was true. The elves keep true to their word as soon as we give them reason to trust us.

/ / /

Rivendell was beautiful. Everything was so _light_ that I felt a type of serenity that I had never felt before. Light seemed to emanate from everywhere; from the trees, from the plants, even from the rocks and houses. As I had no clue where we were led to, I instead focussed on the surroundings to take in as much as I possibly could. Partially because I wanted to remember the exact way we came from, partly because it was so mesmerizing it almost felt like I had no choice but to look.

We came across several elves on our way, but most did not even look at us. Immediately I wondered why. Was it because they saw so many travellers that it had become normal to see humans? Was it because they were taught it was polite not to stare? Or was it out of arrogance, that they felt better than three travelling humans? I was inclined to believe the latter. I, however, knew perfectly well my mother taught me it was not polite to stare, but I did anyway. I looked at every single elf that crossed our path. They all looked the same yet all looked different. Two traits they all shared was that they were tall and had long hair. I realized I was trying to find similarities between us humans and them elves as I categorised their hair colours as black, brown, blonde, and red - the same we had. After there were a couple of elves who were bold enough to look me in the eyes, I realized their eye colours were not so very different from our own, but they seemed to be quite the bit brighter than ours. But that could also be because of all the light.

I didn't see any animals, which I thought was a bit strange. Edoras was filled with chickens, cats, and dogs, and even a stray goat or pig was not unheard of. Not to mention our horses. Here, I could hear birdsong, but I did not see any sign of where the songs came from.

'Could you perhaps hide your curiosity a bit?' Ryce whispered all of a sudden. I turned to him.

'What?'

'Your eyes are as big as eggs, and every now and then you make a strange sound,' he said. I was baffled.

'I do not!'

'You do. It sounds a bit like the sound you make when you take offence to something,' I let out a sort of muffled _huh_ sound and Ryce grinned.

'Exactly. That one,'

'At least I am showing some sort of emotion upon seeing this otherworldly place! Your face is devoid of emotion,' I countered.

'That does not immediately mean there are not a lot of emotions coursing through me. I am just better at hiding it than you are,' I said.

'I enjoy introducing Rivendell to newcomers. They make the most interesting observations to matters I sometimes take for granted,' said the elf that was accompanying us. I was dumbfounded. He was waiting expectantly for me to say something, but I stayed quiet.

'Where are the birds? I can hear them singing, but I cannot see them,' Ryce said and afterwards he shot me a glance. He thought I was being rude, I was sure. I know I was.

'They are up in the highest trees. There is no need for them to come down this low, but they sometimes do. They will sit on a branch near the water all the while continuing their song for the day,' Song for the day? Did it change every day? Or was it the same song, sang at different times? Why was this elf speaking like this? I could not read him at all and it was bothering me.

'If you would be so kind as to wait here. I will inform Lord Elrond of your arrival,' the elf then said. The knot in my stomach tightened. There was no way I could be this rude with Lord Elrond, but I just had no idea how to behave in front of elves. I knew of Lord Elrond's reputation, so I knew he could be trusted, but that did not change the fact that I had never had dealings with elves before.

'I think I should wait while you talk to Lord Elrond,' I said to both Boromir and Ryce after the elf had left.

'I agree,' Boromir said to my surprise. So he had noticed my attitude, too. I looked down.

'We will not be long,' he added. I had expected him to elaborate a bit more on why he thought I should not be present, but he didn't. After that we waited in silence until the elf returned. It didn't take long, and he returned with another elf. Another male elf, that is.

'If you would be so kind to follow me,' the other, new, elf said to me. Well, I had not expected that. Was I to see him alone now?

'And for you both, Lord Elrond is ready to receive you,' our guide elf said. I felt even more confused now.

Where was the other elf taking me, if not to see Lord Elrond?


	19. Rude awakening

The elf was leading me back the way we came and I immediately thought I would be sent back, that Lord Elrond would not even meet me. I was thinking of a way to make him change his mind when we reached a little house that was just at the entrance of Rivendell. There another elf stood and he watched me as we approached. The elf that had led me back here had not said a word to me, which I was grateful for. I had no idea what to say to him.

'Please take your belongings,' said the elf who had awaited us. He looked different than the elf that had guided me here. He looked more like the elves that were walking around freely. I blinked in confusion. Was he a higher guard and thus had no reason for that kind of attire? Or was he a lower guard? Did they even have ranks here?

'Are you asking me to leave?' I asked, my tone flat. His face was expressionless.

'No,' he said. He did not move, nor did I.

'These are your belongings, are they not?' He motioned to the silver plate that was behind him and as I looked at it, I saw only my weapons and not those of Boromir or Ryce. Where were theirs?

'Yes,' I said, still not moving. Was that confusion that crossed his face?

'Did Lord Elrond ask you to ask me to take my departure?' I asked again.

'No,' he said again, still not showing any emotion.

'Then why am I here? Why did he not want to see me? Where should I go?' I thought I saw him smile for the shortest moment before his face turned passive again. Had I imagined it? Or was he making fun of me?

'Lord Elrond has foreseen your arrival and has approved of it. He sees no reason to keep your belongings as they are not his, so they are returned to you. Have you no need for them anymore?' He said as he moved back to the plate and as his hand hovered over my weapons, I shot forward and collected them all as fast as I could. If Lord Elrond had 'foreseen' our arrival, why had he thought it necessary to take our weapons in the first place? Was it a custom? I stood next to the elf, waiting. Moments passed in silence and I quickly looked around, only now noticing the other elf had left. I really should ask for their names as I almost caught myself calling them elf one and elf two. I just did not have to courage to ask them their names.

'Do you wish to know where your horse is?' I felt defensive immediately, even though his tone gave me no reason to. Gods, it was exhausting to be around elves and I hadn't even been here for an hour. I nodded and he motioned for me to follow him. I had expected to walk for a long time again, but we only walked to the other side of the little house and there I saw Hefric, Tordag, and Boromir's horse in an open stable. I sighed in relief and hurried over to them. I quickly looked them over and saw they still looked exactly the same as how we left them and I relaxed a little bit. I was caressing Hefric's neck as I turned back to the elf, who was so silent in just standing there I almost forgot he was there. Almost.

'Thank you,' I said, trying to rid myself of my rudeness. I had to remind myself that they had given me no reason to be so cautious towards them except for the stories I had heard. I realised I was being a hypocrite in believing stories instead of making up my own mind, so I would try my best to not be as hostile as I had been.

'There is no need to thank me,' the elf said. My defenses shot up again immediately. Here I was trying to better myself and he just waved it away.

'Well, I thank you anyway,' as soon as I realized what I had said I turned red, 'no, not like that - I did not mean... Just thank you, not I thank you. I meant to say thank you, just thank you,' I said. Now he smiled a smile that lingered, and he did not look so… strange anymore. It was the first sign of emotion I could easily recognize.

'What is the difference?' he asked. I hesitated for a bit, once again reminding myself to give the elves a chance.

'We say "I thank you" when someone saves someone else's life. In adding "I", it shows that it comes from the person, the soul. It shows that no one thinks lightly of such an action and that it is never taken for granted. The other responds with "I see you", as both show each other gratitude and respect, and essentially saying they would do it again if the need arises,' I said. The elf was quiet for so long I had thought he would not give a response. Now _that_ was rude, never mind my earlier behavio-

'I have never heard of such a way of speaking. It is beautiful. I knew the people of the Mark value words, but-' he started.

'You know where I am from?' I interrupted him. A look of irritation crossed his face, or at least I thought I recognized it as irritation. I swallowed.

'Yes,' He simply said. Silence again. Why was he so hard to read? Were all elves like this? The silence went on and on and it started to feel very awkward. Still, I could not bring myself to ask him his name, feeling it would be too personal a question. _It is just a name, for Arda's sake, just ask it!_

'What else do you know?' I asked, even though the question felt out of place as we hadn't spoken for so long.

'If I were to answer that truthfully and to its full extend, I would have to talk for weeks. However, I think you mean to ask what else I know about _you_ , and about that I can be brief. You hail from the Mark, you go by Sorrun, and this is your first time being in the company of elves,' For the shortest moment I felt relief and then I felt dread. _You go by Sorrun._ Is that their way of recognizing someone's name, or did he know it was not my real name? I pondered this, but decided against commenting on it. Instead I asked, 'how do you know I haven't met Elves before?' my tone was defensive all over again, I felt like I couldn't help it.

'Meeting another is not the same as being in their company,' he said. I furrowed my brow. I thought it was? Why did he speak like that? He went on, 'it is clear to me you are very uneasy being here. I can hardly blame you, and you are holding up better than some other humans I have met, and I have met many. I recognize the struggle you have in finding words. Am I right to assume you usually say any thought that arises?' Well. After having been in my presence for about only ten minutes he was already able to make correct observations. Was this what others meant by "the magic of the elves"? I hoped he was just highly perceptive and that no magic was involved. Or mind-reading. I nodded.

'May I give you some unsolicited advice?' he then asked and he stepped to stand at Hefric's other side, still keeping some distance which I appreciated. I nodded again.

'We are not so different from you, or at least that is what I believe. I do not know what stories you have heard about us, but there are differences in our race, too. Middle-Earth holds three Elven realms and I daresay you are lucky to have visited Rivendell before Lothlorien or Mirkwood. The elves here are more accustomed to humans, or any race for that matter. We have Lord Elrond to thank for that.' He paused and I thought about what he had said.

'Ask your questions, I know you have many. Staying ignorant will only cause more hardships. I would not go as far to call the behaviour you have shown so far rude, but it comes close. We are not prone to anger, but we have pride and to be treated on the base of prejudices is no way to repay the kindness Lord Elrond has shown you by granting you entry to Rivendell,' I cast my eyes down in shame. He was right. He'd seen right through me to the core of where my current attitude came from: prejudices. I had to get rid of them.

'I apologize,' I said. He was silent and I thought he was waiting for me to elaborate, so I added, 'I have no excuse, what you said is true. I let the stories others have told me create prejudices, without having given you the benefit of the doubt. I- it's just, you all seem so… regal. I do not know how to behave towards you,' I admitted. I heard him chuckle and I looked up at him.

'Well, there is no King nor Queen in Rivendell, but there is one in Mirkwood. I do not think you shall meet him. I accept your apology, I do not think you intended to inflict harm or disrespect my kin,' those words stung a bit as I felt I had indeed disrespected them.

'Thank you,' I said and for the first time I smiled at him. It felt just a little bit forced, but I could not expect myself to immediately know how to behave after being reprimanded once, and the uneasiness in me stayed put, even though it was a bit less.

'See you,' he said and I thought he would leave. He did not move however, and he raised an eyebrow.

'What? Is that not how you accept an apology?' I realized what he had tried to say and before I knew it a chuckle escaped.

'That is not really how it works. We just say "you are welcome" when someone has done something that helped us, or "it was no problem", or "no need to thank me" if it was done out of kindness - I -' I sighed, 'I am not explaining it right. You should ask Ryce, he is better at explaining those things than me,'

'I think I understand. One of your companions goes by the name of Ryce?' he then asked and I felt the knot in my stomach untangle a bit. So it _was_ how they recognized someone's name.

'Yes. The other is Boromir. What do you go by?'

'Elladan. Mae govannen, Sorrun,' I liked the sound of his name, it was quite melodic.

'What does "mae govannen" mean?' I asked. I realized it must have been Elvish and it sounded like song.

'Welcome, or well-met,' he said and I smiled a small smile at him again.

'Mae govannen, Elladan,'

/ / /

I was still with Elladan in the stables when Ryce and Boromir returned quite some time later. I tried to read their expressions, but could not. There was no sign of disappointment nor happiness. They stopped right in front of us.

'And? How did it go?' I asked as they showed no intention of speaking first.

'Lord Elrond is expecting someone else soon. He wishes to discuss it with him before he comes to a decision. Until then we are welcome to stay in Rivendell. Soon someone will show us where we can stay,' Boromir said, no emotion in his voice nor on his face. I nodded and turned to look at Ryce, but he was looking at Elladan. I actively reminded myself again to make up for my rudeness from before, while now worrying it might come across as insincere.

'Ryce, this is Elladan. Elladan, this is Ryce, son of Ceorl. Ryce, this is Elladan,' I said.

'Mae govannen, Elladan,' I looked at Ryce in surprise at him already knowing the proper way to greet an elf.

'Mae govannen, Ryce,' Elladan said back with a smile.

'And this is Boromir, son of Denethor, the Steward of Gondor,' I felt like my voice had sounded strange as I had said that, but no one seemed to have noticed anything.

'Mae govannen, Elladan,' Boromir said and Elladan returned the phrase once again.

'Allow me to show you to where you can take rest during your stay here,' Elladan then said as he guided us away from the stables and deeper into Rivendell.

I did not openly stare at any passing elves anymore, but not without effort.

 **A/N:**

 **Hi guys! Sorry it took me so long to update - I've been quite busy lately. But don't worry! Like I said, I won't abandon this story.**

 **So Sorrun and Ryce have arrived at Rivendell and we get to see how she interacts with the Elves.**

 **I've been afraid that I've made Sorrun appear too Mary Sue-y and I'm doing my best to show her flaws - her opinion of Elves and her interaction with them being one of them.**

 **I hope you still enjoy my story and here's just another reminder that I'm trying to keep the original storyline as intact as possible - I won't replace any of the 9 companions actions with something Sorrun does (or Ryce), but instead I try to weave them in with additions while not straying too far from the original storyline.**

 **From this chapter onward there will be more interactions with other characters and not just Sorrun and Ryce and their backstory. Please keep in mind that this is my take of how the story could have gone with additional walkers, too, and how I interpret some characters to be. If you feel like I'm portraying someone terribly different from what Tolkien did, please let me know so I can either change it or explain why when it is necessary for my plot.**

 **I'd love to know what you think so far!**


	20. Forgotten history

'Sweet Elbereth, do you always ask this many questions?' Boromir asked after I asked him how long he had been travelling. Before that I had asked him if his horse had had any trouble travelling such a long way. Before that I had asked if he had met many people along the way, and before _that_ I had asked if he had gotten lost on the road a lot. The first question I had asked when we had arrived at our resting quarters was if he had met many elves before. Boromir added, 'A child does not ask as many questions as you, yet they have much more to learn!' Ryce burst out in laughter, but made no comment. I shot him a sideways glance.

'If you think you are done learning just because you are no longer a child, you are mistaken,' I said, 'I enjoy asking questions as it is a great way of getting to know someone!' I countered.

'You can learn a lot more by observing rather than bombarding them with questions,'

'I disagree,' I said in response, 'How could I have observed if you had gotten lost on the way? Or how many people you met?' he sighed and cast his eyes upward.

'Perhaps having more of a conversation instead of an interrogation would be better,' he said.

'What do you mean?' I asked. I heard Ryce giggle. He was enjoying this way too much.

'After you ask someone a question, give them some time to ask you one in return. I know nothing about _you_ yet you expect me to answer each and every one of your questions truthfully!'

I thought about this. He had a point. Yet I could hardly explain to him the reason why I wanted to get to know him better. At least not yet.

'Ask me something then,' I tried.

'I'd rather observe,' he said. It was silent for exactly two seconds before Ryce lost it and started laughing uncontrollably.

'You are impossible,' I said semi-angry, but when I looked at him I saw him trying to hide his grin and I felt a smile spread across my face.

'I do have one question, though,' Boromir then said, 'observing you two has not provided me with an answer. Are you… together?' Ryce answered before I could say anything.

'No. Sorrun has harshly denied me many years ago. Only recently I have come to terms with it,' he sighed dramatically, 'she loves another,' I gave him a dry look.

'Ignore him. No, we are not together. His love is back in Edoras, as is mine,' after I had said that I realized I should have said I was betrothed. Adding it now seemed out of place, so I decided against it. Boromir was looking at me funny.

'You have met him. Her betrothed,' Ryce added, 'he was there when you visited Rohan,' at this Boromir's head shot up.

'You mean you are betrothed to the prince?' now it was my turn to burst out in laughter.

'No, silly. Eomer,' I said once I recovered. His stance changed again, seeming somewhat more at ease that I was not engaged to a royal member of Rohan. Little did he know of my own heritage, 'do you have a love?' I asked in return.

'I do not have time for love. With the current unrest in Middle-Earth, I feel it is futile,' his words shocked me.

'Why would you say that?' Ryce asked. Only then did Boromir seem to realize what he had said.

'Nevermind that. Go on then, Sorrun, I am sure you have more questions for me,' I guessed he did not want to continue talking about that topic, so I didn't press it.

'I do, actually. Now we are in the safety of Rivendell, I was wondering if you could tell us more about the dream you had. Why did you go and not Faramir? What are Morgul-spells? What is Isildurs Bane? How come you and Faramir both had the same dream?' Boromir raised an eyebrow at me.

'You know, asking them all at once does not make it less of an inquisition. However, I will answer them to my best abilities. Why I came here instead of Faramir might not make sense to you, as I've told you Faramir had had the dream more than me. You might be right to think that would have made him the better choice, but my father told us the road to Imladris was dangerous and treacherous, so I took it upon myself to go. As for why Faramir and I both had the same dream, that I do not know. We are brothers and that is about the only reason I can think of. Morgul-spells are a part of a kind of dark magic, or so my father told me. I do not know what Isildurs Bane is, but we might get more answers once the mystery man Lord Elrond is waiting for arrives,' once again I felt none the wiser. The two men went over the riddle again while I sat back in my chair and let out a heavy sigh. We were in a section of what Elladan referred to as "guest chambers", but "guest mansion" would have been better. There were so many rooms for guests to sleep in. I had my own and so had Ryce and Boromir, which left the other dozen unoccupied. We were now in a common area with open access to a balcony. There were comfortable sofa's and chairs as well as big, elegant tables. The walls were bare with here and there a gap where a candle could be placed. The balcony provided a beautiful view over Rivendell and in the distance I could see a waterfall. I had planned on visiting it in the next few days. I was eager to explore this city.

I looked up as Ryce sat down in the sofa across from me. Boromir had gone.

'He left, but did not say where to. Why did you not tell him?' Ryce asked me. Instantly I knew what he was referring to.

'I am not ready yet. I think he might take it the wrong way, or not believe me at all,' I expressed my worries.

'I understand. I will not push you, but think about how you are planning on doing this. If you wait too long he might take offense, or your paths will separate you and you find yourself without another chance. He is a proud man, a _very_ proud man, but he is not unreasonable. Make sure to-' he was interrupted by the someone entering the room. There was no door, so having Elladan appear out of nowhere surprised me.

'I was asked by Lord Elrond to take you to him,' He did not sound like Elladan, this voice was much deeper. How could that be? Ryce and I both got up simultaneously.

'I apologize for the confusion. I meant her,' he said. Had he forgotten my name already? Shocked I started moving forward and he didn't need more incentive to start walking. I quickly looked back and shot Ryce a look of despair, but he just stood there. I felt my heart beating rapidly, all the while thinking I had done something wrong. _I should have gone and introduced myself,_ I scolded myself, _Elladan warned you of your rude attitude and their pride!_ I tried to clear my head of every single thought as I followed Elladan to see the Elven Lord.

/ / /

Elladan had taken me higher up the valley to a stone paved courtyard. A man (or elf?) was sitting on a bench with his back towards me, but as soon as he heard us arrive he stood up and turned towards us. The moment I saw his face I realized this must have been Lord Elrond, and I swallowed. Lord Elrond said something in Elvish and Elladan left. I felt very exposed, standing in front of him alone.

'What are your intentions in coming here?' Lord Elrond started right away. Dear Gods it felt like I was talking to Theoden King but Lord Elrond's air of regalness was much more intense than that of my King. As soon as he made eye-contact I felt like he could see into my very soul and being. I had not even thought of lying but knew he would have been able to see way past that.

'I- I overheard Boromir talk of his dream when his journey took him through Edoras, where I hail from. His dream sounded familiar, and I felt a strong urge to follow him,' I swallowed again, 'because I felt like whatever was to happen after, it would impact Rohan, too. I wanted Rohan to be a part of whatever is to happen next,' as soon as I said it, I realised I had not explained it well. Lord Elrond's silence only confirmed that for me. I saw some light-grey smoke drift through the air behind a stone pillar behind the Lord and thought this might be a shrine of sorts. I had focussed on the dancing fumes so I did not have to look Lord Elrond in his eyes. I was too scared to. It was impossible for me to recognize his tone of voice nor did his face give anything away of his emotions.

'There is some truth to your words,' He then said, 'but I must admit, I have lied to you earlier. Indirectly. I told Ryce and Boromir I was yet to make a decision because I am waiting for another man, but that man has long since arrived. In fact, he is not a man, but a wizard,' I felt genuine fear coursing through my body now. What was he going to do to me? I closed my eyes as I felt a shiver go over my back and opened them again only to look at the floor. Just as I was only beginning to get used to Elves I was going to meet a wizard?

'There is no need to be that afraid, child. We just wish to clear some matters up,' another voice spoke. _Oh Gods, the wizard._

 _/ / /_

I mustered up all my courage and looked up at where Lord Elrond had stood just before. Next to him was standing an even taller "man", with grey hair and a grey beard. His robes were also grey and he was holding onto a brown staff. His eyes were twinkling, which made the fear in me subdue bit by bit. He looked… friendly.

'We believe you genuinely care for the fate of Middle-Earth. However, you have lied about something else. You do not hail from Rohan,' the wizard spoke. I was positive my heart had stopped beating and I could no longer breathe.

'But if you wish to be included in what is going to be decided on the morrow, we urge you to make everyone believe you are,' the wizard went on. Now my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was making up for the beats it missed. I was utterly confused.

'What?' I said, forgetting all manners. _What was going on? What had Ryce told them? And when?_

'What is your name, child?' The wizard asked. Well. No point in lying now.

'Saoirse,' I said softly. Lord Elrond nodded knowingly and the wizard's eyes sparkled even more now.

'Just to clarify, Saoirse, daughter of…' the wizard started.

'Denethor, Steward of Gondor,' I finished for him. It was not like I interrupted him; he had let the silence linger. To my horror, the wizard started to chuckle.

'Forgive me, my old friend, but it seems I was right once again,' the wizard said to Lord Elrond with a smile.

'Or so it seems,' Lord Elrond said, smiling back. I wanted to sit down, my head was spinning. What was going on here?

'Right about what?' I heard myself ask before I realized it. I hurriedly looked away from them. This felt like one of those speak-when-you're-spoken-to situations.

'That you did not die in your sleep. That your mother was able to take you to safety before Denethor could have caused a war,' the wizard answered. Caused a war?

'My mother told me he wanted me married to the Haradrim prince so he would be the one to bring peace between the two nations,' I said. The wizards eyes grew soft, but Lord Elrond spoke.

'In his arrogance he made himself and everyone else believe that. But the Haradrim were not after peace, they were after vengeance. Long ago, Gondor took something of theirs and ever since the Haradrim are trying to take something back of equal importance. Once you married the prince, he would lay claim to Gondor and seize it,' Lord Elrond said.

'What did Gondor take?' I heard myself ask. I was not afraid anymore, but I clung to every word they said.

'Before we tell you, you must make a promise to us first. You cannot tell Boromir you are his sister, nor can you tell Faramir if you are to meet him. It is of utmost importance that you promise this, even though you can only fully understand the reason why after tomorrow. What will be revealed tomorrow is the true reason you set out after Boromir, and if your intentions are still true then you will agree that the future of Middle Earth and all its lands and races are more important than the family of one. Do you understand?' Lord Elrond answered. I had chills over the whole of my body. Of course I understood. Prejudiced I may be, a hypocrite even, but I was not selfish.

'I understand. I promise. Neither Boromir nor Faramir will know I am their sister,' I said. Silence followed.

'How is it so easy for you to make this promise?' Lord Elrond asked. I searched for the fumes I had focussed on earlier, but they were gone. So instead I looked at the wizard's staff as I spoke.

'With all due respect, Lord Elrond, it is not _that_ easy. But I understand that whatever it is that will become clear tomorrow, it is bigger than me, and bigger than Boromir and Faramir,' I inhaled deeply, 'my mother told me about them when I was sixteen and ever since I have known I would never meet them. It would only complicate everyone's lives and after she died it would only tarnish her memory and her wishes. I made peace with it. I have now met Boromir and I am grateful for that. I do not even think they remember the short time I had with them before we were separated,' my last words hung heavily in the air as silence followed. I could not read either of their expressions, so I waited for their response. Lord Elrond said something in Elvish and the wizard responded.

'One last thing. We are not certain yet that you will be a part of whatever comes to pass after tomorrow, nor is it certain for Ryce or Boromir. But that is all up to yourselves,' and with that, the wizard turned to leave.

'Wait!' I called after him. He turned back towards me, 'yes?' he asked.

'What is your name?' the twinkle in his eyes returned.

'Gandalf. They call me Gandalf the Grey,'

/ / /

When I returned to the guest chambers I was glad to find them empty. Before Boromir or Ryce could arrive I hurried to my room and closed the door behind me. I needed some time to process what just happened and I needed to do that alone.

I realized I needed to tell Ryce that no one was to know of my true identity. I was thankful that I had told him before any of this had happened, that at least someone knew the truth. I decided I would tell him once we had a moment with just the two of us.

It dawned on me that both Gandalf and Lord Elrond knew about me before I even knew about them, and I guessed even before they knew that our paths would eventually cross. Or maybe they had known that all along, too. There was no way for me to know.

I had felt a strange rush of relief after I had left them two. After thinking about it for a while, I thought it had to do with what was decided for me. I hadn't found a way or the words to tell Boromir about me and now it was decided that I would never have to. Or at least, until Middle-Earth was at peace again. I could live with that. It was not going to be easy, but I felt certain I could manage.

After Gandalf had left, Lord Elrond told me what it was Gondor had taken from the Haradrim and it had taken place so far away in our history that it was no wonder no one knew about it at the present day. That, and I perfectly understood why Gondor did not include it in their history books.

' _What is now known as deserted South Gondor used to be a thriving nation of the Haradrim and Gondorians combined while also being an important trade haven for the Corsairs. The rulers of the land would always marry one another - Gondorian to Haradrim and vice versa. An heir had just been born to a Haradrim Prince and Gondorian Princess when Gondor decided they wanted the land for themselves. A terrible war ensued, killing every last Haradrim in South Gondor. It was the start of a terrible unrest between the nations, and it lay the groundwork for the hostility each nation has for each other now. The Haradrim value their customs more than anything else. Most of their customs come down to equality. All things have equal value to them. There is no money, but everything is traded. A ship is worth thirteen wagons, a flock of sheep is traded for a cluster of goat, jewelry is equal to minerals, and so forth and so further. Gondor had taken their Prince and heir, and if you were to have been sent to Harad, they would have made sure the Gondorian debt was paid in equal,'_

I could only imagine just how precise they would claim their revenge. I wondered if my mother knew about this and if this was the real reason she had faked our deaths, to save me from such a terrible death. I would never know.

Slowly another thought creeped back from the back of my head to my awareness. Before I was summoned to see Lord Elrond, Ryce and Boromir were talking about Boromir's dream and reciting it. It felt like the last puzzle pieces fell into place now that I had heard it over and over again. I had had that dream, too. It made sense: they were brothers, I was their sister: we shared the same bloodline. Numenorean blood.

So maybe I was meant to be here, after all.


	21. Getting acquainted together

I realized I had dozed off a bit once I started hearing voices. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw I had fallen asleep on the armchair in my room. Feeling a little bit disoriented as I was not used to my surroundings yet, I could not quite place where the voices were coming from. It was either from outside or it came from our common room. I yawned and stretched as I crossed my room to open my door. As soon as I did I was greeted by a lot of different voices, and, of course, different faces. I stopped in my tracks as did everyone else in the room. Then everyone started talking all at once.

'Hi there,' a child said. Wait -

'Hello, miss,' he also looked like a child, but -

'Who are you?' what were these strange little-

'Who is that, Merry?' another childlike-

'Do not put your axe on the table, Gimli, that is not the proper place for weapons,' definitely a man.

'Is she an elf?' a really round sorta-

'She most definitely is not,' he most definitely _was_.

 _What had I woken up to?_ I looked at Ryce who was just sitting in a corner with a smug smile, taking everything in.

'Gentlemen, gentlemen, please, calm down. Let the lady introduce herself,' Boromir said. Nevermind _me_ , I wanted to know who everyone else was and what they were doing in the guest house!

'Hi, my name is Sorrun, and who-'

'I'm Meriadoc Brandybuck, but I go by Merry,' one of the little men said.

'Peregrin Took! But you, Lady Sorrun, can call me Pippin,' another one said.

'Everyone calls you Pippin, Pip,' said Merry.

'Samwise Gamgee, miss, but do call me Sam,' I started laughing.

'What is the point of all your elaborate names if you all go by shorter ones, anyway?' I asked. They all grew silent again and I instantly worried I had said something wrong. Then all the little men started laughing, and so did the rest. _Oof._

'Frodo Baggins. Just Frodo will do,' the little man with the curls said.

'And I am Gimli, son of Gloin, at yer service,' the slightly bigger but also rounder man said. He did not look like a child, mostly due to his braided beard.

'Aragorn, son of Arathorn,' the man said. That left the elf.

'Legolas, son of Elvenking Thranduil,' _interesting._

'It is nice to meet you all. So-uh, what brings you here?' I asked.

'We were asked to move from our guesthouse…' Merry started.

'... to this one. Lord Elrond's wishes. There were some spare bedrooms here, anyway,' Pippin finished. Well, at least that was a part of an answer.

'We arrived a while ago. Frodo was pretty badly hurt, but Lord Elrond healed him up nicely so now he can sleep where we sleep,' Merry added. I felt like I was not going to get _real_ answers out of them, so I decided it could wait. I had never seen so little a people, and I wasn't entirely convinced they were not children, but I was fascinated.

'What are you? If you don't mind me asking, that is,' I hastily added. I came down to their level as I sat on my knees and at once I saw they were full-grown men, just a whole lot smaller than usual.

'Well, we're hobbits of course!' Pippin said.

'Hobbits?' I repeated, 'like Halflings?' my eyes met Ryce's, then Boromir's and then travelled towards Aragorn. Our eyes met, too, but I could not read his expression. _And the Halfling forth shall stand._ The hobbits did not see us exchanging looks. I saw Sam in the corner of my eye looking at me. When I faced him, he quickly looked at the ground.

'What is it?' I asked.

'Nothing! I just - just checking to see if you're not really a she-elf,' Sam said. He seemed happy I was not. _Stop with the assumptions._ Assumptions create prejudices. I put my hair behind my ears and smiled at him.

'I come from another part of Middle-Earth, called the Mark. You might know it as Rohan,'

'Nay, it doesn't ring a bell,' Sam said. The rest of the Hobbits nodded in unison.

'We were about to see what's for dinner,' Frodo began, 'would you want to join?' I looked over at Ryce and he shook his head ever so slightly.

'I will come down later,' I said. The Hobbits walked out of the room, talking about what devine meal the elves would serve tonight.

'Why did you get down on your knees?' Ryce asked after several moments of silence. He had crossed the room to sit on an armchair closer to the rest and I took a seat in a chair beside him.

'The children in the Mark love it when I talk to them on eye-level. They say it is tiring to always have to look up. I thought it might be the same for the Hobbits. Why? Do you think it offended them?' I responded.

'Hobbit's do not easily take offense. Interesting observation you made,' Gandalf said as he entered.

'Just be sure not to do it for me, lass, I am perfectly content looking up,' Gimli said. I smiled at him.

'Noted,' I said.

'You are all expected tomorrow. Rise early. You will be sent for,' and with that, Gandalf left again.

'I propose we get acquainted, but do not speak of our business here. There will be time for that after tomorrow, if all will come to pass,' Aragorn said. So he would not provide me with answers, either. Legolas nodded solemnly and Gimli just shrugged his shoulders. Ryce exchanged looks with Boromir and I was just sat there, observing them all.

'The Hobbits made me quite curious about the Elven dishes that are about to be served. Which is the way to the dining halls?' Ryce asked no one in particular. In unison we decided we would all go to dinner and we set out on a leisurely pace. Ryce and I fell in the same step as we both lingered behind a bit.

'How was your meeting with Lord Elrond?' He asked.

'Interesting,' I said. I could not say any more, fearing our company would overhear us. Luckily, Ryce took the hint. I would tell him later.

/ / /

Dinner would have been strange if it were not for the Hobbits. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Boromir were all very stoic as they ate and I guessed it had to do with them being too preoccupied with thoughts of an uncertain tomorrow. I did not want that to spoil the fun and laughter the Hobbits provided, so I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would have. Ryce also joined in the jokes, but also found an opportunity to talk about gardening with Sam. Sam was Frodo's gardener and Ryce had a passion for just about anything that grows from the earth.

'When will you marry?' Pippin asked me. We had previously been talking about the Shire and about some of the mischievous things he and Merry had done in the past. I was not aware he knew of my engagement to Eomer, so I shot Ryce a puzzled look, which he did not notice. Too busy talking about bushes and different types of sticks. What else had Ryce told the others while I was asleep?

'A date has not yet been set,' I responded.

'Pity. I'm sure he's eager to marry you,' Pippin said before stuffing his face with potatoes.

'I certainly hope so,' I said, remembering how hastily I had to go, robbing us of the opportunity to be happy about our engagement together.

'Are you eager to marry him?' He went on. I smiled before I knew it.

'Yes. Overall I would just be happy to see him again,' at this, Pippin stopped chewing and Frodo dropped his knife.

'Wait. You're not marrying _him_?' Merry said with his mouth full of lettuce, pointing his knife at Ryce. Everyone around us grew silent. Then Boromir burst out laughing.

'See! It is not that strange that I, too, thought you two were to be married,' he said.

'Who are to be married?' Legolas asked. He looked right at me.

'Eomer and I,'

'And yet you chose to come here instead of being with your betrothed?' Frodo asked, even though it did not really sound like a question.

'I think he asked because I chose to go,' I said.

'To make you change your mind and stay with him?' Aragorn then asked.

'Perhaps,' I knew I had made the exact same assumption when Eomer had asked me, but I was trying not to make assumptions about other people's reasons anymore.

'All this talk about marriage makes me think I should have asked Aldin to marry me, too,' Ryce said. I smiled at him.

'You should have,' I said.

'Who's that?' Pippin asked, once again with a mouth full of food.

'My partner in crime,' Ryce said mischievously, 'he is still in Rohan, a part of Eomer's Eored. I reckon he would be happy to see me again, also. Even though we are not betrothed,'

'Well. If Sam had as much courage as Eomer and asked his Rosie to marry him, he, too would be happy in love now,' Pippin said.

'I am happy in lo-' Sam cut himself off.

'Who is Rosie?' I asked. This conversation took so many turns it was hard to keep up. Sam's cheeks turned bright red and he didn't answer. Instead, Merry did.

'Just the woman Sam here wouldn't stop talking about the first weeks of our travels. Weeks! If he went on for much longer we all would have fallen in love with her, the way he talked about her,' Learning that Sam had a sweetheart was heartwarming. They had been travelling for weeks and if his feelings for her were as true as mine for Eomer, I was sure he took a lot of comfort out of the thought of her.

'Why did Eomer not come with you?' Legolas then asked me. The Hobbits continued talking about Rosie as Sam grew redder and redder.

'Or go in your stead?' Legolas added. I wondered why we circled back to this, but his tone was neutral as was his expression.

'Because he knew as well as I did that would not do. He is needed back home,' I said.

'And you are not? If you can be missed there, what purpose do you have-' Legolas was interrupted by Aragorn who spoke to him in Elvish. I looked around the table but was relieved to see the others had lost their interest in this conversation. Only Boromir and Ryce exchanged a look with me, but I tried to keep my face neutral. We were in an Elven city, so it was their fair right to speak in Elvish. Even though they were in a company wherein the majority did not speak the language.

'The conversation steered too close to our true business here, and we agreed not to talk about that,' Aragorn then said. Aragorn was right, but I failed to understand why he had to interrupt Legolas in Elvish. I let it go, but made a mental note to pay more attention to their relationship. It seemed they knew each other longer than any of the others around the table, and that included Ryce and me. Boromir then asked Legolas something about Mirkwood and I finally felt at ease again. I had not realized I had tensed up.

'Did you take offence?' Ryce asked in Rohirric. I sighed. _Ironic._

'No,' I replied in Rohirric. I was very aware of everyone around us, but no one seemed to be listening in, for which I was glad. It was a good thing we were seated next to each other.

'He has no business asking you such a thing. Even if he had not interrupted him, you did not have to answer,' he said, once again in Rohirric. He was careful not to say names, which I appreciated. Still, I wondered if some in our company might know how to speak our language.

'It feels rude to talk like this, Ryce. But I appreciate your concern, thank you,' I said and I smiled at him. From the corner of my eye I saw Aragorn look at us for a couple of moments too long for it to be casual. _You can learn a lot about someone from observing,_ Boromir's voice echoed in my head. Was that what Aragorn was doing? Observing me? During the meal I had noticed Aragorn was not really a talker and I had no clue what kind of questions I could have asked him. I was afraid he would think I was imposing and that I forgot we would not talk about our business here. So I kind of let him be, as I let Legolas be, too. But I would observe him from this moment on to see if it was as effective as asking questions.

 **A/N:**

 **I hope you've had a good time over the holidays! Sorry it took so long to post a new chapter, so here's my new Year's gift to you all: two chapters!**

 **I really enjoyed writing these last two chapters and am excited for what's to come.**

 **Also a memory with Eomer is underway, so stay tuned**

 **Jess**


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